I spent so much of my life singing the song “kiss the sky” as “excuse me as I kiss this guy” not realizing that it was “kiss the sky” not “kiss this guy.”
I’ve looked back at such a thing as a complete waste of time. Did I really spend time doing something so incorrectly? It actually frustrates me.
I’ve spent much of my morning editing for my clients. I am so disgustingly, disturbingly, embarrassingly behind I can hardly stand it. I actually have tears in my eyes as I admit that to you. I edit my images by tens, I start with ten in Lightroom, move them to Photoshop, I edit all ten, and then I save all ten. I had just edited the tenth one, about to save them all when Photoshop failed and “closed unexpectedly.” I watched the images disappear before my eyes. I literally envisioned the time I just spent editing those images, maybe 25 minutes? 25 minutes I simply do not have, be flushed down the toilet. A complete waste of time.
It led towards a downward spiral of thoughts of time wasted.
I rinse the kids’ sinks of toothpaste only to return to sinks with toothpaste plastered on them.
I finally get the laundry caught up when I have to do another load and another and another and another and OMG.
I change a diaper. Well, you know. I change another and another and another. so much poop.
Every night, it’s homework and dinner and prepping for the next day and finally getting the kids to bed and responding to clients and picking up toys and every day it’s the exact same thing DAY IN AND DAY OUT.
The grocery store? How do I need to go grocery shopping every three days?!
Every day is a battle with a different child about something different. My first battle today was with Anna at five in the morning after I fell asleep after one in the morning. How can my oldest child be my most challenging? (I ask her this same question, she has no good answer.)
I take ten minutes to paint my nails as “a treat” to me and chip them ten minutes later. (probably from ridding the sinks of toothpaste)
I pay my bills only to get another bill for the next month seemingly minutes after the paying the bill.
A bathe Eli before bed and the next day he runs macaroni and cheese through his hair.
Is this my life? Is this your life? Do I fight it or accept it?
I recently learned that with 3 conscience breaths you can recover from anything.
So, I take the three deep breaths. Slow. Steady. Mindful.
and maybe for a minute, maybe two, I feel a bit of much desired peace in my heart, maybe it lasts and maybe it doesn’t. But it does remind me that peace is attainable, however brief, if I allow myself even a minute to retrieve it.
And it doesn’t mean that my problems and my concerns, my busy-ness of my day and life go away but it means that even for those three conscience breaths I took time to BE. For me. And that helped when I really needed it.
(source)
The title of this story is “Everything Done is Coming Undone. Lather, Rinse, Repeat.”
And these are the days of our lives…
Thank you for this. It was *just* what I needed to read right this minute.
I have stepped away from the blogging world for this reason exactly or something like that. I never have enough time, I am never caught up and a lot of days, my kids are challenging me at different times in different ways. Some days are good and some days, after they are asleep, I just want to crawl into bed with them and say *I’m sorry* and hug them tight….and some nights, I do just that.
thank you….thank you…..I found myself taking those same 3 breaths yesterday….your words mean more than you know!!! sweet dreams Beth!!
This is my life. I sweep the kitchen/dining room area maybe 5 or 6 times every single day. The other day, while sweeping {naturally}, I was adding up the number of minutes spent sweeping every day. It stresses me out to think how much time I waste sweeping up the mess, only to see it reappear seconds later. Everything I do, it seems, gets undone almost immediately.
Oh this sounds so familiar, you will get past the hectic time, and unfortunately it will be replaced with others lol. Mine have all grown and for a short time I enjoyed doing things once a day and not several. My only advice is that in the big picture lots of the things just don’t matter, now that doesn’t make it any easier to accept I know. Telling the kids to rinse the sink is often like talking to a brick wall but sometimes a little bribery and corruption goes a long way. I used to start at one end of the house and by the time I got to the other end, I had to start again. i know it is hard but try and do things once a day, honestly the floor looks bad after an hour and really it doesn’t really look any worse after 6 so do it once. It will get better!
Oh – I feel ya sister! This post could be mine, with just a few of the detaisl swapped around. Life is busy, life is hard, and we all need those 3 seconds to just be…it’s hard, but I don’t think anyone is immune. Hugs to you – hope today is better!
I read a blog once (so this is totally not from me…though I wish it were) where the mom was saying things just like this. “I do the laundry and then it gets dirty again”, “I make a meal and the kids are hungry again 2 hours later”, “I change diaper after diaper”, etc. Then she remembered what a wise friend of hers had said (see? This wisdom is really passed down the line). “Everything done must come undone.” It is the cycle we are in, that everything we do is MEANT to come undone again. This is the sign of life and movement, and in some way, (though for sure frustrating!!) can give us purpose knowing that our job to take care of people is a continual job, as it’s meant to be. Hugs to you, Beth!
Oh Beth, I feel like this all the time. After we put Mason to bed, I look around and think “dishes, pick up, I should tackle one thing on the ever growing list of ‘cleaning projects’” I feel like a success if I get the dishes done and can sit down and enjoy one sitcom before bed. There is always something nagging me in the back of my head – right now it’s thank you notes from his party two months ago… I’ll be practicing the three breaths…
Amen, sister.
*furiously taking deep, conscious breathes*