Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement through comments or emails or Facebook messages. I appreciate the time you all took to share your heart with me. (although, the incessant, ignorant and, of course, anonymous commenter I could have done without, but that’s okay, that’s why I moderate my comments now.)
I know that news like that can shake you up. It still shakes me to my core, I’m still shocked by all that is happening, even though I’ve been living it minute by minute since last year. But it’s okay. I’m okay. We are all okay. I promise you.
I’m still the same person.
I still can’t wait to see my kids’ faces in the morning.
I still can’t wait to check on them before I head to bed.
I still love graham crackers.
I still love to photograph everything I possibly can.
I’m still grateful for every breath I take.
I’m still grieving the loss of our precious boys. (five years next week. That’s difficult for me to handle right now.)
I still eat as if it were my job. (quickly and with great focus.)
I still eat ice cream every night. (I did give that up for awhile but I needed it back.) (so it’s back) (forever)
I’m still grateful for every person that hires me to photograph their family.
(always will be.)
I still laugh and joke. (how could I not?)
I still love Steel Magnolias and Brad Pitt.
And coffee.
I’m still grateful for all of you who check in and leave comments and share how you’ve been reading for awhile. (that’s one of my favorite things. This is truth.)
I still plan to be here. Writing. Sharing. Like always.
i am so sorry.
i don’t EVER wish divorce on anyone, not even my worse enemy.
if there is ever anything I can do…please feel free to contact me.
i’ve been there done that…twice, sadly.
Oh, internet. Bringing out the best in anonymous trolls since Al Gore invented you.
I love that the bottom right cup of coffee is smiling at me.
Virtual hugs to you, Beth.
Triple heart love you…..so triple much
Been reading for so long, I can’t remember when I began. Know that you are in my heart and thoughts, and I hope for all the best for you and this new way of life for your family. Hugs to you.
I LOVE reading your blog, seeing your photos, and your design inspiration. I can’t necessarily always relate to you, as your life has seemed so different than mine, but I still very, very much enjoy your writing. Although, sadly I can relate to this as I am (still somewhat recently) divorced. And you are right, you remain yourself throughout the process, but people will sometimes not see you that way. I learned that was okay.
Life is hard sometimes, a lot of times, but SO worth it. And it’s beautiful to see how grateful you are for all the amazing parts of your life. ((Hugs))
Wishing you and your family the best, and praying for God to keep moving you forward. I think of you often during the month of February. I’m thankful for how you’ve shared your story with your readers.
I don’t doubt for a minute that you are going to get through this on your feet. You are one of the most positive people I know. I feel blessed to have known you all these years and to have been given the privilege to love on your babies at school. If it wasn’t for you, I never would have known what blogging even was. You are all going to be just fine. Love you, my friend.
Love your thoughts and my heart goes out to you for your babies. Hugs
Beth, I have been reading your blog since right before your loss of James and Jake. I also contributed for a while when you first started “You Capture”.
I am so sorry about your most recent news. I am so glad though that you are able to work through this. You are most definitely in my thoughts and prayers….
Sincerely,
Paula Westbrook
Jackson, TN
I’ve been reading since 2007 – when I was pregnant with my Aubryn. I rejoiced with you when you announced that you were pregnant with James and Jake. I cried with you when Jesus called those little souls home. It’s hard for me to believe that it’s been five years. I’ll be praying you through these next few days.
hugs! it’s all I have.
That picture of the flowers is lovely, but that one of Clara, it’s so gorgeous. I can’t even put my finger on what makes it so special, but how can you not love that photo?! Thank you for continuing to share such beautiful things here.
I love your blog. I have enjoyed both your writing and photography. I wish you peace during this season. Hugs and prayers!
hi beth, been reading since your baby shower with Eli – crazy i know that i haven’t ever introduced myself, its like i have been raiding your frig!!
well, i know some of what you are going through, i too am a walking the road you are. i am sure our stories are different, but the same plot line. you are brave to share and smart to keep the details to yourself – not that you need me to tell you that. i have shared just a fraction of what i have been through and have found blogging very theraputic. i am so sorry for what you are going through.
i send you love, support and prayers for His peace to find you, always!
xoTiffany
I’m glad you will still be here. And your photos inspire me every day.
xoxo
After just reading this last post, I finally understood…..understood why when I read the previous one, I just sat in my chair a little shocked, a little sad, a little unsure why.
Because it has been five years that I have been reading your blog. Five years. Unfortunately, it was at the time you lost your beautiful boys that I found you. I have been a loyal reader ever since.
So, when I could not figure out why I was having an emotional reaction to your news when I don’t know you, it seemed a bit weird, maybe uncomfortable, like maybe I need to step away from the computer more often.
But I do know you. As much as someone can who has read all your posts for five years. You have shared your journey with us and we have walked along beside you, cheering you on.
And so that is what I will continue to do. Be a loyal reader, cheer you on, and wish you peace and healing and happiness during this time. Hugs to you.
Thinking of you and yours and all that IS you and yours.
Beth,
I have been blog-silent for a few weeks now. I have been participating in your photo challenge for a couple of years now. I was sad to come today to read of your divorce. My heart breaks for you. I know it had to be a hard decision to agree to “out loud”, you know? My prayers are with you all. There are difficult days ahead. I pray for peace and smooth sailing for you and the children.
Pam
Jeremiah 29:11
I’m so sorry for the nasty comment – there is always a troll out there just waiting to add misery to someone’s already bad situation. Love this post, and love how you handle the changes with such grace…but you still remain you and don’t allow it to change your core!
my heart is still sore from your news. and now comes the week you remember the day you lost your sweet babies. my heart aches wondering how this moment might be different this year with brian. something that will always connect the two of you. you will all be in my prayers. and shame in the grouchy commenter. shame on you.
I have been reading for awhile now. This post is beautiful and filled with so much raw honesty. I love it. So sorry to hear about your divorce. I have been there and as painful as it is I am in a better place now.
Hi Beth. I know you didn’t arrive at this place on purpose, and put a lot of thought into the whole thing before a final decision.
My heart goes out to you all as a family. I’ll be thinking of you, Hugs.
I just found you through Ashlee and it sounds as if we are all connected by such loss. I’m sorry for all you’ve been through yet so glad to hear you are doing well. Nice to “meet” you.
I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Just know that you will make it through this tough period and come out an ever better person on the other side. I find that hardest part of divorce is the “death of a dream”. The dream of your happily ever after. This was what I struggled with the most during my divorce. But I came through it all and found a wonderful life that I never would have known, if I stayed where I was. And I found true happiness in myself.
My only advice is to keep doing what you are already doing, cherish every moment with those wonderful kids. Their love will help you come through all of this. And their lives will be better for it in the end. Great big hugs to you and yours.
I also wanted to say how much I have loved watching your photography grow and blossom. You inspire me to work a little harder and find a little more inspiration even when I feel burnt out. Thank you.
And we sill still be here for you. Reading, sharing, enjoying.
Just remember, it will be later soon.