Well, Adam. Here we are, another season of American Idol. Another year investing 432 hours each week to this highly addictive show and yet, we all sit around and ask ourselves the same question at the start of each new season…
“Who won last year?”
No, really. Who was it?
Adam: It was Scotty McNohat. Silly boy never took your advice and still won the whole thing. I still have “Baby lock them doors” stuck in my head.
That’s right. Darn fool. I have to admit that I haven’t spent too much of time watching the auditions, I feel a little sad about this except I don’t. However, last week I watched a whole two hours and DAMN THERE IS SOME TALENT THIS YEAR. This has piqued my interest. Now, I’m excited.
Adam: We’ve got this whole thing covered. I watched way too much of the auditions and missed all the talented people last week. And here’s what I’m wondering: will there be any singing this week? Funny clothes? Silly statements like “You can cut the intensity with a knife . . . literally.” Some dude’s literally going to cut somebody. I can’t wait!
I always knew we were a good team.
So tonight we are finally narrowing it down to 24 contestants.
Adam, I can’t decide if I’m scared if the contestants will fall into the water or if I sorta want them to. Thoughts?
Also, these intense moments of silence before telling the contestants whether or not they made is through is truly something new for American Idol.
Adam: Oh I definitely want them to fall into the water, especially since it would help break this newfound silent intensity never before seen on Idol. I say, if you don’t make the top 24? Eaten by sharks. That’s how Ryan Seacrest makes it feel it will be anyway. Let’s make it so the singers are actually singing for their lives.
Can I just say that even though i don’t care much for his nasally vocal blasts, I hope Creighton Fraker sticks around for awhile. Because I like using his name as a cussing substitute. “Chreighton FRAKER, I stubbed my toe!” I want this to last.
Adam: I’m at Neco Starr. I sure hope he makes it through. This show simply doesn’t have enough Jheri curl. Or American flag pants. Gah! He didn’t make it? Creighton FRAKER.
Now, Neco’s hair was really shiny but nothing compared to J-Lo’s green dress that reflected onto her face causing her face to turn sparkly green. I’m thinking she should have warn a nice cotton bib to stop the reflection. I should totally be a celebrity stylist.
I think it was a good decision for Niko, Necho, NECO to go. Because of the pants.
Adam: Caleb, Caleb, Caleb. How the crap do you forget the words to “Old Time Rock ‘n’ Roll”? Nobody forgets those. Just like nobody forgets Tom Cruise dancing in his underwears.
Reed Grimm is up – I like Reid, he’s super fun and his last name is actually my Mom’s maiden name so if he wins then we are totally related. But only until just after the season finale, just before he becomes old-news. Last week, when he danced, he was NOT a good dancer, sorta like Elaine Benes on Seinfeld. I like that he plays the drums, too.
Adam: Drummers are crazy. Reed Grimm makes Animal on the Muppets seem subdued. I can’t believe he’s into the top 24 except that of course he is. Crazy sells. Also? He’s really good. I gotta talk to my mom.
Adam: Random observation: why do I get the feeling that by the end of this season we’re never going to want to hear another Adele song ever? Girl’s catalog is getting abused on this show.
Really? Who’s Adele?
Adam: Okay, when they do the recap of the contestant’s entire life from birth to final Hollywood week performance? I can’t take it. Don’t show me Chelsea as a little girl and then taunt me with sending her home. That ain’t right, Steven Tyler. Whew, she’s in. My heart beats for another day.
It’s Idol’s job to toy with every emotion possible, Adam.
Adam: Baylie Brown . . . I’m still heartbroken from the time she got cut three seasons ago. I can’t watch this, Beth. Let me know what happens.
Do you seriously remember her?
Adam: Yes! And yes! No kidding. I jumped up and shrieked a little when I saw her show up this season. She was the cutest when she was on before and I really couldn’t believe she left. I don’t remember many castoffs who didn’t break the top 24, but I remember her.
Adam: Beth, I know how you feel about cowboy hats, but I’m really praying for this Richie kid to literally fall into a burning ring of fire. Burn, burn, burn, ring of fire.
I AGREE WITH YOU. But last week’s performance of his was crazy, crazy good. It has left me feeling alone and confused. Damn him. But mostly, I want him to leave and I really think last week was a fluke. Phew. I’m pretty pleased that he’s been cut and I hope he decides to never, ever try out again.
Adam: Heejun: I’m really sweating. Ryan: What are you sweating? Heejun: Mostly water.Me: I love you infinity, Heejun.He really has quite a personality. Funny fellow.Adam: I love Heejun so much I want to learn magic so I can turn him into a cinnamon roll and eat him.That may be one of the strangest things you’ve ever said here on Idol Chat.
Adam: They’re doing it again, Beth. They’re showing me Jessica, singing in the womb, and then suddenly she’s in Vegas. I’m just not comfortable with this for some reason.
I think the sensation you’re actually feeling is called OLD AGE. Watching a girl who started watching Idol at the age of five who is now trying out in Vegas is um … WE ARE SO OLD.
Adam: I wonder what it’s like to have skin so perfect that it even looks good in an ultra close-up shot in HD. I’ll have to ask Jessica that.
Now, Phil Phillips? Don’t do the Dave Matthews guitar dancing thing. It’s unpleasant.
He may not have danced very nicely with the guitar but dude can SANG.
Adam: After being sent home last year, Colton Dixon decided to pretend like he wasn’t going to audition this year. Then his sister got sent home. And then Colton pretended to be sad she wasn’t around to see him beat her out. And then I puked out my soul and choked on the intense hatred for this awful, awful piece of spoiled garbage.
Colton making it through to the top 24 is the worst thing to ever happen to a group of two dozen anythings.
So, you aren’t a fan then? I don’t appreciate what he did to my Coldplay song. That was just plain rude. But apparently you have bigger issues with him than how he sang the Coldplay song?
Adam: Brielle looks uncomfortable, but I’m not sure if it’s the pressure of the moment, the absence of her mother, or those crazy shorts. Since she made it through and reunited with her mom and still looks uncomfortable, it was obviously the shorts.
There’s really nothing fantastic about her. I don’t expect her to stick around here for too long, which is good because her Mom is orange.
Adam: This dude is an SNL character waiting to happen. He sings well enough, but I’m uncomfortable having to look at him. I’d rather watch a Jacob Lusk cry marathon than see 30 more seconds of Adam. I just have a mad case of the heebie jeebies.
Seriously, Adam? A Jacob Lusk cry marathon would be the death of me. Why do you want me to die? WHY, ADAM?
Adam: Oh look! A cliffhanger! How un-Idol of them.
You mean we won’t know if Adam will make it to the final 24 until tomorrow? Chreighton FRAKER, that sucks.