Alright, Adam. So, I’ve just watched the first five minutes and here’s the lowdown: Carole King sings more good songs than I had given her credit for, the show is 90 minutes tonight which is perplexing considering, you know, less people. it’s also disturbing considering how heavy my eyelids are and Babyface is helping to mentor tonight. Oh and last but not least, if you look at Jacob’s outfit, stand up and sit down, you will become nauseous. You have been warned.

Adam: I’m excited. I love Carole King and Babyface (although I love their songs much more than I love either of their voices, sorry, Carole and Kenny). And thanks for the warning. When Jacob comes on screen, I’ll just find a safe place in my living room I can avert my eyes toward.

So, I’m watching Jacob and he’s singing a song about a baby and I’m really, honestly realizing that I do not enjoy his voice OR his outfit tonight. I do appreciate that he’s moving on stage and he’s not singing an inspirational song, which is an improvement. Adam, I have two questions for you. Do you see a place for Jacob in today’s Top 40? And the second question, if I paid you $35, would you wear that outfit? Okay, one more question, Is J-Lo wearing a shield tonight?

Adam: For $35, I would wear that outfit for 35 seconds, and I’d keep wearing it for additional seconds as long as the dollars kept coming. But I don’t see the dollars coming to anyone wearing that suit not named Jack Nicholson (who got paid millions to wear that exact thing in Batman). I don’t see Jacob as a Top 40 artist, but I think he’ll sell enough records in some genre to afford a wardrobe stylist. His voice? All syrup and no waffles. Also, J-Lo has a Peggy Fleming thing going tonight. I eagerly await her next triple lutz.

Lauren is singing Where You Lead. I didn’t know the last song and I don’t know this one, but it doesn’t really matter because Lauren is owning it tonight. She got some great advice from Babyface (and Miley, ZOMG!) and really asserted herself. And then she grabbed some dude from the audience and had him sit awkwardly on stage. What the huh?

Wow, Lauren is wearing silver plated fly-swatters! Southern girl is stepping up these days! I did think the performance was a little boring but I really enjoyed her voice tonight. Also, her stage presence isn’t the most comfortable I have ever seen. Child needs to relax.

So, to ensure Idol makes enough money with commercials, they’ve decide to add duets. The first duet performance is Casey and Haley singing “I Feel the Earth Move Under my Feet.” I enjoyed the performance. It was very growly. Lively. Fun.

Adam: Okay, Beth? How cute are Casey and Haley? Seriously, how cute? On a scale of bunny rabbit to Justin Timberlake, how cute are they?

Adam, few things are as cute as Justin, so definitely closer to bunny rabbit.

Adam: Scotty’s singing You’ve Got a Friend, made famous by the Muppets. (I was willing to swear on a cowboy hat he’d sing Country Road.) But no, he sang the Sam Hill out of a song I love, and Beth? It was the first time I really took him seriously as a singer and a man (my wife got the chills and gasped audibly at one point). I’m so glad Babyface coached him on this one. Solid gold, Scotty. Solid gold.

I enjoyed this performance, too. Our little Scotty is growing up right before our eyes. *sniff*

James Durbin is up next, he’s singing Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow and I do hope he doesn’t do the Adam Lambert screech because I just don’t enjoy that noise. Just a few things: I did notice a few pitch issues, however, his voice really is amazing and also, he seems so happy up on stage. I love that his happiness comes across when he’s up there. I equate this to Eddie Vedder covering Last Kiss but not quite as good. But still good.

Adam: Spot-on Pearl Jam comparison there, Beth. The beginning really blew me away, and I kind of wish he had lost the doo-wop feel of the song. I wish he had done with this song what U2 did with Christmas (Baby Please Come Home). But still, he definitely earned his spot in the Top 5 with that performance. I was proud of James tonight.

Scotty and Lauren’s Up on the Roof makes me wish I was up on the roof of a cabin in the Smoky Mountains watching shooting stars and chewing beef jerky. They’re pretty wonderful together.

aw, that’s a dern nice thought, there, Adam. I’d like to join you, ‘cept, I’ll pass on that there beef jerky. I’ll eat ice cream, instead, sonny.

My friend, Casey, is up next. I missed what song he’s singing because I was busy yawning. But I’m hoping Casey takes my yawns away. He typically does. That sexy sax lady is back on, would you believe she’s a cousin to someone I went to grade school with? I learned that on Facebook. Social Media is good for you, see? Anyway, I enjoyed the performance, loved the arrangement, I really love his tie. I hope America is in agreement with me.

Adam: I don’t know if I can speak for America, but I’m in agreement with you. There was one point in the song (maybe right after he threw his hat in an outburst of growly rage) that I laughed, but it was a laugh of joy. I just really had fun listening to that. Casey bubbles over with fun. Also? His voice is pretty amazing, and I loved how he interacted with the musicians, especially the piano playing at the beginning.

Haley sang another song I’m not familiar with, but I really dug it. She just keeps getting cuter and cuter, and I actually loved her little Farrah Fawcetty look. I think she’s got soul, and of all the contestants she has improved the most over the course of the show. Overall, I’m so pleased with tonight. Also, I think Jennifer is dressed up as a wedding invitation. It’s been bugging me all night.

I have to say that I enjoyed her performance and her look tonight. I agree that she’s improved a lot, which is good because she needed it. heh.

Jacob and James are singing a duet tonight, they’re both wearing white pants and singing “Something Tells Me I’m into Something Good.” But something about this performance is not good and I think it’s all of it. Either that or I’m sleepy and my ice cream has worn off.

Adam: Notes, notes, weirdness, notes, white pants, notes, JENNIFER LOPEZ’S LEGS, more notes, and then I lost interest.

Who’s going home?

Beth says Jacob.

Adam says: I think Jacob should go home, but I fear a surprise. I’ll say Lauren in a shocker

Who do you guys think will go home? And who do you hope wins?

Adam: Another week of Idol, another night of hoping that the singers make it difficult to say goodbye to them. After saying farewell to Paul (something that caused us all tremendous grief), the magnificent seven finalists treat us to songs of the 21st Century. Thank goodness. But before we get to them, Jennifer is showing off her new Mango shorts, and we get a performance from Paulie and the Pussycats (Ashthon, Karen, Naima, Thia, and Pia) of “So What?” My first thought: who are these people? What did you think of the opening number, Beth?

I thought “who is that?” and “oh, I’m glad she left, whatever her name was” and “Paul sounds like crap.” But you and your Mango shorts? Brilliant, Adam. Brilliant.

Adam: So, Scotty McCreery has his choice of any song from any genre since the year 2000. Do you think he’ll sing a country song? I’ll give him some credit, Scotty brought some funk to LeAnn Rimes’ Swingin’. And he actually went lower, which I didn’t think was possible. Maybe his voice changed this week? I’ve been a little hard on Scotty, but he’s a lot of fun. That song was fun. Not a showcase by any means, but I smiled.

Such a fun song, fun performance, his voice is really something special, I’d say. Still missing the hat but I enjoyed him tonight.

James Durbin is performing a song by Muse tonight. First, I like this song a lot. Second. I like drummers with feather hats. Third, I don’t like the lips on Steven’s face and Fourth, this feels like a Marilyn Manson concert and Fifth, I can’t decide if I loved or sort of liked it. I don’t think it was a great vocal performance but it was entertaining.

Adam: I’m really not a big Muse fan, but I felt like I should be appalled on behalf of Muse fans. But I don’t know. That’s the theme for this one. I just don’t know. I know I didn’t like the Rhythm Nation meets Thriller outfit. But I don’t know if I liked the performance at all. I don’t want to rewind it and watch it again, so I guess that says it all. I don’t want to be screeched at again. (But I do want to see Scotty’s James impression again. That made me snort.)

Haley Michelle Reinhart! She came out looking all Donna Reed gone clubbing, which I wasn’t wild about. But then she sang Adele’s Rolling in the Deep, and I loved it. I hate the lipstick on Steven more and more as the show goes on, by the way. But that song is seriously a heavyweight task, and I thought Haley kicked it. Hard. I felt like the judges were actually too harsh on her. Ten times better than James, in my opinion. I’d take that performance out to dinner.

You know, I didn’t want to stab her tonight (improvement!) but I definitely did not think that dress matched the song, which is really what Idol is all about.

So, Jacob Lusk is up. I’m very sad that his father died when he was twelve but listen, before I learned that, I was going to say “I hope he doesn’t sound like he’s crying during this song.” And now, I feel like a jerk. It’s just he has that tendency during songs to sound like he’s crying. There is just something, something about this voice that I don’t thing is good. When he hits the high notes? He sounds good. But the low? Kinda froggy. I don’t know.

Adam: Little story for you, Beth. The first time I heard this song was when former Idol star Tamyra Gray sang it on the show Boston Public. And I cried. The end. (I told you the story was little.) This time I was more teary-eyed before the song than during it. But still, I liked that he actually controlled his emotions through the song. I didn’t like how throaty it sounded. Jacob might be in trouble this week. Now I feel like a jerk.

Casey Abrams is singing Harder to Breathe by Maroon 5, which is kind of a scary song. I get scared when Casey sings scary songs. Remember Smells Like Teen Spirit? Vocally, it was great, especially when he wasn’t singing the notes he was playing on guitar. But visually I couldn’t shake the thought of how much he does not look like Adam Levine. He is the opposite of him. And in the OH MY CHEEZY PUFFS HE KISSED J-LO! Never mind. Casey wins. WINS.

Oh, I enjoyed Casey’s performance tonight. Such a fun stage presence, great arrangement. I LOVED what the other contestants said about him, made me laugh out loud. I had an interesting conversation with my endodontist today about Idol, it wasn’t so much interesting as it was a conversation, I just pretended to be interested because he was in charge of the VERY LONG NEEDLES  but basically, I learned, that his staff loves Casey. Also, I had to google Adam Levine. God, I’m lame.

Let me tell you that it doesn’t bode well for Stefano that I’m starting out his performance already hating him. I’m actually angry that he’s still on the show. Stefano is singing “Closer,” I have no idea who sings it, but who does, sings better than Stefano. So, vocally, this performance wasn’t as bad as it normally is but his facial expressions kill me and well, no. Just no.

Adam: My initial reaction: Stefano’s still on the show? I don’t think we’re going to have to worry about that next week. So I’m not going to say much about him other than his choppy vocals reminded me of one of those rapid-fire garden sprinklers. I will say that it’s going to be difficult to skip past the commercial breaks if Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz keep showing up. Because if they’re on my TV now and Stefano awaits, I’m in no hurry, you know what I’m sayin’?

Lauren Alaina  got really vulnerable in her interview, saying she holds back in her performances out of fear that she doesn’t compare with the other voices on the show. Let me tell you something, Lauren: you have got to believe in yourself from the first note, not just in the last 30 seconds of the song. Bring it, Lauren. Bring it. If you’re going to hold back on anything, make it the orange foundation, okay?

Gosh, this is hard for me. I was so distracted by her orange-y-ness and am pleased as punch that you brought it up. In the interview, she looked great. She came out on stage and I was all “asgjn$o#er@!goadfo;e  what the what happened to her skin?” And I got distracted. After a few lines, I was able to tune back in and heard her sounding really good. Lauren has a great voice. I’m surprised she doesn’t really believe it but, I get it.

So, who’s getting voted off?

Beth: Stefano, I hope. But I really want to say Jacob. So, I’m going to say Jacob because then maybe it will be Stefano.

Adam: Okay. I’ll say Stefano. Because I like being right.

Readers? What are your thoughts?

Oh and before I forget. Last week someone asked in the comment section if we actually voted for the contestants. I can’t speak for Adam but I can tell you that at THIS point in the game. Yes, I vote. Not obsessively. But I vote.

For Casey.

So, Pia is gone. What a shocker. I have to tell you that I’ve watched those results a few times, simply because everyone in my family watches the results show at different times and at the very, very end when she finally breaks down in Jacob’s arms? I lose it. Adam, I have no idea how you’ve managed to remain so emotionally stable, I imagine you’ve had a few breakdowns on your own. You are a trooper.

Adam: I have a confession, Beth: I typically don’t watch the results. When it comes to saying goodbye to these contestants, I’m a cold, heartless scoundrel. But I did watch the end of this one, and I was sad to see Pia go so soon. But you know what? Her farewell performance was, to my ears (and eyes, holy cats, what an outfit) her best performance of the season. First time she’s really moved me emotionally.

So, Paul McDonald’s up the show with Old Time Rock n’ Roll and OHMYGOSH, someone call 911, he’s having a seizure on stage. No…wait, he’s just Paul. On stage. Seriously, he is not singing, Adam. That is not singing and he should not be on the show, he’s yelling, he’s yelling so much that’s he hoarse. I was going to be all nice to Paul, as suggested by a reader last week and I tried and then he started singing. Okay, I’m done.

I happened to watch this performance with Anna before watching last week’s results show (see?) and she thought this sounded better than Miley and you know what? She attended Miley Cyrus University.  I don’t know that I totally agree with her or the judges, I just thought the performance was pretty okay. Pretty safe but good. Dog.

Adam, I have a confession. The judges are starting to piss me off.

Stefano Luckytobeontheshow is up next. First, let me tell you that I love Will.I.Am and happy that’s he’s helping Jimmy out. I’m considering asking him to come over to dinner. I bet he’ll say yes. Anyway, back to Sir Luckypants. This pretty much sounds like a horrible performance. Between his voice, which is not Top 40 material, the Little Shop of Horrors background singers and the horn section, it’s all too much for my ears. My ears, they want to commit suicide. Which makes me sad. I like my ears.

Adam: Stefano plodded through the beginning of the song like he was recording the Kidz Bop version, but the dude had a moment. One moment with his big power note, and I thought he nailed it (and not in a rude, butchery kind of way). I actually liked the song for about 10 seconds. That tiny window shows me Stefano has something. Maybe next week’s theme will be 10-second songs?

Scotty McCreery is next with George Strait’s Cross My Heart, and it kind of made me hope to die. He sounded great, he’s got an amazing voice, and he even got rid of the silly faces and crazy eyes. But Beth? That song was an extra large snooze sundae with snore on top. I wish he had sung Everybody’s Talking, because it sounded good, it was interesting, and it wouldn’t have been the autopilot cop out we just witnessed. It was good, he’ll coast through with a billion votes, but I was disappointed.

Adam, must you bring up ice cream at an important time like this?  (important time being moments after I’ve already had ice cream) Two words: cowboy hat.

Casey Abrams looks pretty handsome tonight, for Casey, right, Adam? So, kudos to Casey for sticking to his guns and not singing Phil Collins tonight. I enjoyed the end, much more than the beginning, loved the white instruments, the feel. It was good. Definitely different.

Adam: Could there be a bigger chasm between song choices than Nat King Cole and Phil Collins? And if music teachers and music critics were voting, I’d say handsome Casey made the right choice. But teenage girls and more teenage girls are apparently doing all the voting. Even so? He made the right choice. I’m so glad I heard that song. That was jazzy cool and powerful and solid. If America doesn’t vote for that? Screw ‘em. I think I’ll vote for him right now.

Haley Reinhart singing Blondie? I do dig it, Haley. I’m impressed that she hunted down a giant butterfly and made a dress out of it. I like the song because she sounds different enough from Debbie Harry to be distinctly her own. She started off sloppy. Why do so many contestants sleep through the beginning? I like Haley’s voice, and I know I’m pretty much alone in not disliking her. I’m okay with that. She’s a good kid.

Guess what, Adam? I didn’t hate her performance tonight which is the first time EVER I have said that about her. Great song choice and how hilarious that the judges didn’t like it?

Jacob Lusk is singing Bridge Over Troubled Water. Good song, yes. Tan suit? No. I just don’t know what to say about Jacob. I mean, the dude has a great, great voice but ugh, I don’t know, he still bores me. Especially with a tan suit on. I’m not sure where he fits in with the music landscape of today but you know what? That’s not my problem. I do think Jacob is in danger, though, despite having a good voice. Maybe it’s the lip gloss that throws me off.

Adam: Beth, I had Lusk lust tonight, I have to tell you. I agree, borrowing a suit from the guy in IT may have been a bad move, but the song itself floored me. I clapped. I whooped. I hollered. I was glad he chose the song because there are 8 million versions of it yet he still made a unique one. And he has that voice that tightropes the line between campy and incredible. I thought that performance was incredible. My hands kind of hurt from the clapping.

Adam: It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for, friends (at least Beth and I have been waiting for it): we’re down to single digits! After dropping two contestants that came as a total and complete shock to me last week, the final nine are taking on songs from Rock & Roll Hall of Fame artists. But first off, Beth, have you noticed what Randy’s wearing? Not just tonight, but at all this season? J-Lo and Steven are always so dazzling, I think Randy could walk out in his bathrobe and I wouldn’t bat an eye.

Randy’s clothing is a bit interesting once I looked at it but I don’t notice it much, either. Sometimes I do notice his big purple watches, though. Those are nice. (and congratulations on choosing the two to go last week, you over-achiever, you.)

Adam: Jacob Lusk starts the night with a switch: he dropped “Let’s Get It On,” because it was too suggestive. Instead, he thrust his pelvis to Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror.” Steven called it the finest song that’s ever been written, and, Beth? Michael Jackson’s version is one of my top five favorite songs ever. So I agree with Steven. But I don’t agree with the judges that this performance was any good. I like Jacob, but it fell flat for me. But I’m completely biased on this one.

Jacob’s statement about if he’s in the bottom three it will only be because America can’t look at themselves in the mirror? Um no, Jacob, don’t kid yourself. It’s because the best part of your performance was the OTHER person singing the song. Nice try, though, son.

Oh, Lord, help me, my least favorite person is up next. Haley Reinhart is taking on Janice Joplin tonight, it was nice of her to break out her leather pants for the occasion. I also wear mine when I sing a song by Janice Joplin. I know I’m not a fan of hers but this song just added to the reasons why. So corny, she yelled all the way through it. I wish people would stop voting for her. Are the judges deaf tonight, Adam? or did you enjoy this song? (It’s okay if you liked it, I have a toothache and I’m pretty grouchy, so maybe that’s the problem.)

Adam: Mmm . . . I don’t want to speculate on the grouchiness, but I kinda loved it. I have to say, I was distracted throughout trying to figure out what was going on with her shoes. They were a mystery to me. (I should tell you my brother’s reaction to Haley’s performance last week: “I didn’t want to set her on fire, which is really high praise coming from me.”) I generally don’t like people to sing this song, but I thought it suited her voice if not her perpetually giddy smile. Also: her ring looked like one of those industrial strength doorstops spray painted gold.

Casey Abrams decided not to put “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” to its untimely death and instead took “Have You Ever Seen the Rain?” to Tahiti. I kid. I’m so glad he broke out the upright bass, because it reminds us that Casey is an extraordinarily talented musician. It also keeps him from snapping. I love this guy’s voice, and I didn’t feel like I had defend him to the cool kids this week. I had a lot of fun listening to that.

Oh, Casey. First, I love this song. Second, I adore that he plays the upright base. Third, the rain falling in the background is making me have to pee. I enjoyed this performance. Sometimes he sounded a lot like a bee singing but I don’t have anything against bees. I still love this guy.

Lauren Alaina is singing You Make Me Feel like a Natural Woman. (or is it Natural Woman?) Whatever, you get the idea. I’m not enjoying her look tonight, too much going on between the shorts and the tights and the 924 bracelets and the hair that goes up six inches above her head. It distracted me from her singing, which I think, I THINK, Adam, was a good thing. Booooring.

Adam: Look, Christian Slater! Wait, was someone singing? Yeah, Beth, I don’t know what to tell Lauren if I see her in person. It’s going to be awkward if it happens. But that song, which I’m strangely tempted to sing far too frequently, is a song that should keep us hanging on every single note and constantly begging for more. I remember two of her notes, and I was pleading for her to stop. Or to start. I totally agree, this made me feel like a sleepy man.

James Durbin switched gears (there’s an awful lot of switching going on tonight) by singing “While My Cello Gently Weeps,” a song that I believe originally featured Eric Clapton playing a different instrument, but whatever. I’ve been tough on James, but I loved hearing a cleaner, simpler, gentler side of his voice. It didn’t give me chills, I just really liked it. He sounded . . . good. I ignored the frivolous note at the end. I respected that performance and the thought and work he put into it. Bravo.

James Durbin, well, I was looking forward to this because I adore that song, I was also looking forward to him not screaming because, you know, it’s a slow song, but alas, he still found a place to scream. I was a bit bored, he was definitely emotional but you know, I’m not that impressed.

Scotty McCreery is giving us some Elvis tonight. He’s also moving around stage, engaging with the audience and being flirty with the camera. Who is this character on stage? Now, towards the end he did give us some crazy eyes, but that’s okay. As long as he never does it again. I loved this performance. Scotty is definitely becoming one of my favorites.

I love, love, love the singing, the decision to go with an Elvis song, and the playful way he refuses your requests that he wear a cowboy hat. But Scotty sports the aura of a man who is still looking all over Blueberry Hill and has yet to find his thrill, if you get my drift. He’s Richie Cunningham pretending he’s the Fonz. I absolutely love the vocals, but the theatrics are a thousand miles from sexy. Teenage girls in the front row disagree with me wholeheartedly. When Scotty understands why, I might take him more seriously.

Adam, I agree with you, he’s not sexy and maybe that’s why I like my daughter watching him. But listen, last week when he sang “I Told You So” with Lauren, that? Sexy. Trust me. I watched it 15 times.

Adam: Pia Toscano. There you are. Okay, Pia is very pretty. She’s very snazzy. Her outfit is a little . . . pouchy? Like that of a young Blanche Devereaux? And her movements just screamed of constipation. But her vocals were good. Not perfect. But she competes, I’ll give her that. Pia is in it to win it. I kind of hope she doesn’t win it. But she has every intention, and I like that about her.

Pia performed a nice fast-paced song, she did well. She really does have an amazing voice. Although, I definitely thought this was Glee-like but that’s okay, right? Everyone loves Glee. And Blanche Devereaux? Perfect description, Adam.

Stefano Langone sings “When a Man Loves a Woman.” Adam, lean in, I have to tell you a little secret, in the middle of this performance, I got up and peed. That pretty much sums up how I feel about this performance. Like I said last week, I like the kid, he’s cute, good attitude, but he is not an album seller. I said those same words about Ruben. And I was so right.

Adam: It made me notice what Randy was wearing. Actually, as Stefano performances go, I liked it. He’s a frustrating guy for me, because I think he could be much better than he is. I like his personality and his stage presence. I just wish he’d open up the tap on his soul. I want to know he’s not just a performer and that he’s an actual person. One who feels. Who thinks. Who pees. Right now, I’m not convinced he does any of those things.

The intersection of Paul McDonald and Johnny Cash is . . . something I had never even considered until this moment. Now that I’ve considered it? I’m not really happy about it. I don’t know that the Man in Black needed to be turned into the human sequins factory. Look, in a vacuum, it wasn’t a bad piece of music. But I refuse to believe that Paul shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. Tickled him to death maybe, but no gunshots. And I was genuinely concerned for Tony on the guitar. I was sure Paul was going to kick him in the jewels.

Problem: I have a major, super, massive crush on Johnny Cash. I have a major, super, massive dislike for Paul. I’m trying to like Paul more, it’s just that his voice is so whiny and wrong. I enjoyed that he rocked out tonight and he did, got the crowd going but still. Not my favorite of the night but maybe my favorite performance of his so far.

Who’s going home?

Beth says Stefano.

Adam says Stefano.

Do you agree? Disagree? Who’s your favorite? YES, YOU!

Adam, thank you so much for taking care of my blog last week, that was really, really nice of you.

I haven’t been able to see last week’s episode but thanks to your recap, I feel pretty caught up. So, should we talk about what happened with Casey last week on the results show or the fact that I finally announced my pregnancy or how unbelievably hot J-Lo looks tonight?

Adam: My pleasure, Beth. I don’t think I can resist talking about any of those. I’m so glad Casey was saved, because I love having a Casey and a James on the show (on account of my ginormous, full-blown, shameless man crush on Casey James last season). And J-Lo is a vision tonight . . . no idea what anyone else is wearing. But your pregnancy? Makes me happier than if Casey James and Jennifer Lopez were watching Idol with me on my couch right now. And it’s not even close.

Adam, your crush on Casey James disturbs because I distinctly remember wanting to stab him in the neck at some point last year. Who knew we could be so different?

Tonight, I’ll be talking about the boys, Adam is covering the girls, which brings us to Scotty McCreery. The contestants are singing songs by Elton John. I enjoyed Scotty’s performance, he seems so comfortable up on stage these days. I think he’s maturing right before our eyes. *sniff* (STILL NO HAT BUT WHATEVER.)

Adam: I can’t decide if Scotty’s performance and song choice was complete brilliance or abject silliness. I’m not sure it matters. He just needs to walk out there, throw down a big pile of aw-shucks, and rake in the votes. The song, while fine, was forgettable. That last power low note, however, was anything but. Scotty’s only going to get better.

Naima Adedapo gave Elton John’s “I’m Still Standing” the reggae treatment, which was a huge risk. And I don’t care what the judges say, I absolutely loved it. I don’t like the song in its original state, and I’m not a reggae fan. Even her execution was a tiny bit lackluster. It probably won’t even bring her the votes she needs. But if that’s how Naima goes out, she should be proud. It was a song worth singing, and I loved how she sang it.

I don’t know, Adam, I mean, it was entertaining and it was interesting but would I buy that album? Um, no. Would anyone in America buy that album? Um, no. I love her originality, I love her ability to always be herself but I really did not enjoy that song.

Paul Mcdonald. Oh, Paul, what are we going to do tonight? First, I want to water his suit. Second, I really love this song but but but … I don’t think his voice is strong enough for this song. It’s like his performance just sat there or something. I did enjoy his calmness tonight. (OH MY GOD, I JUST HEARD STEVEN MENTION WATERING HIS SUIT. I said it first! I said it first! DANGIT.)

Adam: We’re back to Paul McDonald, and he took his Ritalin, which means we get the Paul we can watch without squirming. Without the kicking and pointing, the thing about Paul that distracts me now is the extra dose of crackle in his voice. Too much crackle! It’s like a Crunch bar that’s more crisped rice than chocolate. His “Rocket Man” never really got off the ground, but I could drink coffee to it. Meh.

Pia Toscano is so gorgeous it kind of hurts my eyes. But I don’t want to let that distract me from giving an honest critique of her singing. She’s also got a very good voice, but frankly I think “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me” exposed her as a second-tier vocal talent. George Michael can sing this song. Oleta Adams can sing that song. And, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Elton John can sing that song. Pia doesn’t quite have the soul to pull it off. It’s not just one big note, it’s a song full of impact powerhouse potential, and it kind of ate Pia up.

Well, I think Pia is certainly pretty but she reminds me of Elaine from Seinfeld which is funny because Paul McDonald dances like Elaine from Seinfeld dances. Interesting, right? No? Not so much? I enjoyed her performance. She always surprises me with her big notes. She did great tonight!

Charles in Charge is up next. I’m really starting to like this fellow, I like his attitude, his smile, I like that his name is Stefano but I did not enjoy how this song sounded tonight. Very nasal, crazy vibrato, just a lot of ugh. He’s cute. But I think his time on the show is very limited. Luckily he has that popular 80′s sitcom to fall back on.

I don’t know what you mean, Beth. Joanie loves this guy. Seriously, I have no idea how he does it, but Stefano pours a ridiculous amount of effort into performances that are somehow completely devoid of energy. I just don’t feel the song when he sings. It was good that he sang a song about another fabulous ’80s sitcom, with this whole “Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza” business. (I know that joke is from Friends, but they stole it from me.)

Oh my gosh, I’m so thrilled that they have Howie Mandel sitting next to his twin, Stefano’s dad. That’s just outstanding. So then we have Lauren singing “Candle in the Wind,” which is a favorite car ballad of mine. It’s kind of weird to see Lauren singing about Marilyn Monroe, but she did a nice job. Her voice really does hit the ear nice and smooth like. She’s cute. I don’t know if she completely takes herself seriously, but maybe that’s what I like about her?

Yep, she sounded fantastic, she looked great and yep, she doesn’t take herself seriously, you’re right, Adam. It sort of makes me want to shake her shoulders and say “WAKE UP, GIRL!” But really, she’s good stuff. I look forward to her each week.

James Durbin is performing Saturday Night’s Alright. He sounded good, definitely involved the audience, it was a good performance. Although, I closed my eyes during the performance and I heard Axl Rose. True story. Rewind and try it. Also, I’m just going to say out loud what y’all are thinking … boys with ears that stick out, should probably stay away from mohawks.

It was a great performance in a style that I’m pretty much done hearing. He does have a great voice, no question. But he needs to pull it out of the late ’80s early ’90s for me to love it. But he sure does own those ears.

Thia Megia has been accused of being a little boring and sleepy, so it’s perfect that she chose the most soporific song in the Elton John/Bernie Taupin catalog. Even though I’m one of her accusers, I loved her performance. I just don’t think sleeping America is going to vote for her in their dreams.

I’m so confused by Thia. I mean, her voice is nearly flawless, it really is and this performance was good but it was also a bit bland? Why doesn’t she like to wear color? Has she ever done an uptempo song?

So, Casey Abrams is up with his new “less hairy” look, which I’m super glad about it. Also, I’m super glad the judges saved him. Also, America? PICK UP YOUR PHONES AND VOTE FOR HIM, DAMMIT. He’s performing Your Song, which I like, I like his toned-downedness of it all. I’m pleased with him tonight. I do sort of wish this had been done with an acoustic guitar, either way. I’m a fan. Still.

Casey is that guy in high school you have to convince your friends is cool, because you know he’s awesome but he constantly does dorky things that make people gigglesnort. I do love his voice and his trimmed down beard. He’s massively talented. Look past the dorkiness, America. I swear, Casey’s solid.

Jacob Lusk sang “Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word.” I agree with J-Lo, the last note was really amazing, the whole performance was a bit dramatic and that bothered me a lot. The smoke? A bit much. He sounded really good but I can’t figure out where he fits in with music today, you know?

Jacob sang another one of my favorite Elton John ballads. It’s so emo he didn’t even have to overdo it, if breaking down in tears two-thirds of the way through isn’t overdoing it. Vocally, though, it was pretty controlled I thought. He’s just so powerful. I wish he and Pia could join forces. Anyway, I loved this song in all its effeminate vocal luxury.

Haley Reinhart is kind of the Casey James of the girls. Amazing, gritty voice with a bit of a goofy sense of style. Every week I’m more impressed with her ability as a singer, but I still find myself laughing in parts because of her Walmart dresses and awkward motions on stage. The arm flailing, the weird poses. The inability to get off the piano that I thought was on fire earlier. I don’t know, I love her, but I can’t stop laughing. Also, are J-Lo’s earrings getting bigger as the night goes on?

I think I can honestly say that I hated this performance. Yes, her arms flailing, her movement on stage is completely awkward and just like Casey James, I want to stab her in the neck. Wow, the judges love it. I think I’ve had too many ice cream bars tonight, there must be something wrong with my eyes and my ears. GAH.

Who’s going home?

Beth chooses Naima & Stefano.

Adam thinks it’s going to be Naima and Thia.

What do you guys think?