As I sit on my couch, drinking coffee, baby girl has the hiccups.
Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop. And now she’s wiggling her legs, like she’s showing me what she can do.
It’s a little how Eli will play a game of peek-a-boo, completely unprompted. I’ll see him with his head into the couch and realize he’s been doing that for about thirty seconds. It takes me a second to realize he’s playing…
“Eli!!!!” I say, in a sing-song voice.
His head pops up and he laughs so hard.
or sorta how Noah, right now, is playing Wii and he keeps talking to me about his endeavors and asking me who I think is going to win, he narrates and celebrates. He really does think I’m very aware of the game he’s playing. But I’m not but he’s involving me and I like that.
or how Anna will do her own hair and not show anybody, especially her brother or Dad but she’ll sneakily come up to me and show me and I’ll rave and rave about how good she is at coming up with cute hairstyles and she smiles and giggles and removes the walls she’s built and walks taller and prouder and when Dad says “Anna, you look so cute!” She says “thank you!” and buries her head into his chest. (carefully, so she doesn’t mess up her hair.)
or how even Brian will come up to me and tell me that he finished my laundry and his and he’s going to go into the baby’s room and begin clearing it out so we can paint it TODAY because she’ll be here a month from TODAY and my mind is so stressed and my heart is a little sad at how little I can do to help prepare for her arrival and he knows this.
So, he comes up to me and tells me in his soft voice that he’s taken care of these things “so rest your head, pretty Mama.”
I have these people in my home and in my belly who share with me their silliness and their challenges and their triumphs and I’m in the middle feeling important even though I feel like I’m contributing so little to them right now.
But they’ve reassured me and I remember how important my role is, and this makes me happy today. This makes me proud.