As I sit on my couch, drinking coffee, baby girl has the hiccups.

Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop. And now she’s wiggling her legs, like she’s showing me what she can do.

It’s a little how Eli will play a game of peek-a-boo, completely unprompted. I’ll see him with his head into the couch and realize he’s been doing that for about thirty seconds. It takes me a second to realize he’s playing…

“Eli!!!!” I say, in a sing-song voice.

His head pops up and he laughs so hard.

or sorta how Noah, right now, is playing Wii and he keeps talking to me about his endeavors and asking me who I think is going to win, he narrates and celebrates. He really does think I’m very aware of the game he’s playing. But I’m not but he’s involving me and I like that.

or how Anna will do her own hair and not show anybody, especially her brother or Dad but she’ll sneakily come up to me and show me and I’ll rave and rave about how good she is at coming up with cute hairstyles and she smiles and giggles and removes the walls she’s built and walks taller and prouder and when Dad says “Anna, you look so cute!” She says “thank you!” and buries her head into his chest. (carefully, so she doesn’t mess up her hair.)

or how even Brian will come up to me and tell me that he finished my laundry and his and he’s going to go into the baby’s room and begin clearing it out so we can paint it TODAY because she’ll be here a month from TODAY and my mind is so stressed and my heart is a little sad at how little I can do to help prepare for her arrival and he knows this.

So, he comes up to me and tells me in his soft voice that he’s taken care of these things “so rest your head, pretty Mama.”

I have these people in my home and in my belly who share with me their silliness and their challenges and their triumphs and I’m in the middle feeling important even though I feel like I’m contributing so little to them right now.

But they’ve reassured me and I remember how important my role is, and this makes me happy today. This makes me proud.

I like the sound of the title of this post because it sounds all “football-like,” which probably makes it pretty clear to you that I do not understand football, at all.

Is it 33 downs and the first yard? 33 tackles and the first to get hurt? Do they keep track of tackles in football? Because they should since that seems to be the goal of the game, right? I have no idea but I love football lingo and I also love to pretend like I understand it.

Obviously.

But no, actually. The title is that today I am 33 weeks pregnant and today was also the first day of school for Anna and Noah.

Each event is equally exciting to me but I think Anna and Noah would strongly disagree. I base this on the fact that they woke up right on time and had eaten breakfast, brushed their teeth, gotten dressed, brushed their hair and put on their backpacks in just 14 seconds.

Excitement for their first day does not quite properly express how they were feeling about today.

We were ready for this day. The kids had had enough of summer, it’s become obvious these last 10 days or so. Every night they’d dream of going school shopping and then going to school. “I wish school started today.” I only heard this 423 times. But I loved hearing it because I love that they love school.

Last night, I was able to take two pain killers and actually felt somewhat normal. We got ready for school, did showers, cleaned up the house, read books and tucked the kids in their new shared room. Nothing spectacular happened except the feeling of routine returned and I really liked it.

I’ve never wished away summer. Never couldn’t wait until they returned to school and I honestly hope I never do. So, back-to-school is always bittersweet for me. (mostly bitter because it hurts my wallet. OMG.) But sweet because I’m able to watch these children grow up and observe, socialize and learn every single day.

It’s certainly my pleasure to be able to watch this.

I’m fully aware that someday, before we know it, we’ll be packing up their car and dropping them off at college and not only will I be longing for these days of school excitement, but I’ll also be longing for the day when going to school only meant dropping a few hundred bucks on school supplies. So, I’ll just stop complaining about that right now.

First, let me start out by saying that there will be no You Capture this week. I apologize in advance but it just can not be done. (next week’s topic will be Ordinary Moments – the same as last week.)

Yesterday, I overdid it. I had a newborn session in Chicago followed by a maternity session in the evening. Newborn sessions are laborious – when done correctly. It takes patience and heat and hours and hours to complete a beautiful session.

There is all sorts of bending and ridiculous amounts of squatting and it’s hard but it’s worth it. I was at my client’s home for over four hours working with this sweet little baby.

Oh and did I tell you I hired an assistant? I did and she’s great and she attended this session with me which leads me to ask myself “what if I hadn’t done that?” My OB strongly encouraged me to hire someone to help me so I could continue my packed shooting scheduled.

Either that or I would need to clear my packed shooting schedule.

So, I returned home, ate some Teddy Grahams and began preparing my house for the next session. Part of it was going to be held in my home.

The second part of the session took place at an old farm. It’s a pretty good hike to get where we needed to go.

When I got out of the car after that session, I felt like my joints were on fire and my muscles were being cut. I was very uncomfortable. I edited a few of the photos and barely made it up the stairs. I was tired!

About 45 minutes after falling asleep, I woke up to pain around my butt and my abdomen. Intense pain. Over the next two hours, my pain worsened and I could barely move.

I finally decided we needed to go to the hospital or maybe Brian decided when he had to help to just stand up from the bed and listen to me groan in pain. Yep, maybe he’s the one. Either way.

We arrived at four in the morning. We found out first that the baby was okay, that my blood pressure was good and that I was not in labor.

That, in itself, made our trip in worth it. But we still had to figure out why I was in so much pain. I couldn’t walk, I could just lay on my back, no turning on my side, I couldn’t move at all.

The doctor feels I way overdid, that I’m having muscle spasms all over this area. Rather than being admitted, I opted to be in pain at home, where the bed doesn’t feel like I’m sleeping on a diving board. So, here I am in bed, where I’ve been, aside from getting up to pee four times, for the last twenty hours or so. I’m medicated but the medication does not take the pain away – but it does help me relax.

I do think the pain is getting better but the pain is still pretty intense. So, I guess I have to follow the orders of “stay in bed” because, um…I really have no choice.

But this resting thing? Is NOT my thing. I can’t wait to be on the move again and I hope it happens soon.

It’s not really by choice that I leave this space all neglected it’s just that it’s an easy “to-do” on my list to disregard, where other things aren’t so easy to ignore.

Baby girl will be born seven weeks from today. I have so many feelings about this, mostly excitement, because we can’t wait to meet her.

I have some sadness because this is the last time I’ll be pregnant.

Definite fear. What if she comes early? What if…something else happens?

What if she ends up in the NICU  for weeks like Anna and Noah, despite the fact that they were full term?

It doesn’t seem like too much to ask, wanting a healthy baby girl in my arms in the afternoon of October 3rd, one who latches and coos and sleeps. One who takes our breath away, who is the perfect addition to our completed family. To have that moment in my hospital room when Anna and Noah walk in after school, holding Eli’s little hand. All of them sitting on the bed with me, Grandparents taking photos, Brian hovering, proudly, over his family. These things happen everyday.

But life and my history has shown me that things DO happen and they CAN happen to me, so I’m guarded and hopeful.

And prayerful.

And it although it doesn’t seem too much to ask, I realize how miraculous all of this is – that thought never leaves my brain or my heart.

So, we continue each day, mostly working, sometimes playing, getting ready for school and babies.

Anna and Noah’s new shared room is almost complete. And then we paint the baby’s room.

And then, hopefully, at the end of this pregnancy, I will be doing some much needed rest and I’ll be here so much that you’re bound to get sick of me.

That’s my plan.