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Archive for Baby – Page 2

You listen.

April 20th, 2010

I can’t get over how supported I feel by all of you. Your response to my post yesterday was amazing and leaves me feeling like I have a team of Moms rallying behind me and that is a good feeling. Thank you!

My appointment with my lactation consultant yesterday was so enlightening – we may have an answer to what is going on with Elijah.

He’s hungry. Very hungry. And my milk supply seems to be a little low, even though he’s gaining and filling his diapers properly, he’s still just a hungry boy, which also equals an angry boy.

So, the plan? Increase my supply by taking supplements (fenugreek and blessed thistle), pump after each nursing session for ten minutes during the next 48 hours, give a supplement to Elijah of breastmilk or formula, when we feel it’s necessary and perform breast compressions while nursing.

What does this mean? All boobs, all the time.

But what does this really mean?

Happy Elijah

We are starting to see a boy who doesn’t cry whenever he’s awake. It’s a beautiful thing, we like what we see.

I know this may not be THE ANSWER, but it’s a great start.

And all of you amazing people who left me a comment, e-mailed me, tweeted me, etc, I wish I could respond, I wish I had the time to respond but I just don’t. But I swear to you, I have read EVERY SINGLE WORD that’s been sent my way. I appreciate your love and your support way more than you will ever, ever imagine.

You make me sleep better at night, knowing you are behind me. And Elijah helped me sleep better last night when he slept the longest stretch he has slept so far.

So far today? IT IS GOOD.

Vincent Vega

April 19th, 2010

The truth is, I am having a hard time. I’m hesitant to write this post because I should be showering rather than posting but mainly because I don’t think I can handle all of the judgement that could potentially go on from writing this post.

You know how us Moms and future Moms can be when it comes to babies, right? We all know everything? We all know what’s right and what’s wrong and we’ve all said “if that were my baby, I’d do this not that ...” And maybe you’ve never said it, but you’ve thought it.

Yes, you have.

It’s pretty awful but we can’t help it, that’s what makes us mothers, I guess. But I’m hoping as a human you’ll just listen to me and let me talk this out, let me share this with you because I know I am not alone in my thoughts. Somewhere, someone can completely relate to what I’m saying here. And if not, that’s okay, I need to share. This is my therapy.

Elijah is a difficult baby. The day he was born, he was the coolest little baby, totally laid back, just laid around sucking on his perfect little fingers, hanging out with his family, I even called him Vincent Vega because he was so cool.

But then the first day ended and he wasn’t so easy going anymore. When he was three days old, he was up for seven hours straight, crying.

A newborn.

Seven hours.

I’m not going to lie to you, it’s been downhill ever since. And not downhill in the sense that I’m going to jump off of a bridge because I am not. Downhill in the sense that this tiny baby who was supposed to just “eat, sleep and poop?” Well, that was false advertising. He cries.

ALL OF THE TIME.

He very rarely has quiet awake time, where he just looks around an takes it all in, in fact, it’s so rare that we all just kind of sit and watch him when he does do it, marveling at this quiet moment of him not in our arms or screaming. I usually grab a camera because “Look! He’s not crying or nursing and his eyes are SO BIG AND BEAUTIFUL and oh crap, he’s crying again.” (as I write this, Brian is walking around with Eli, keeping him calm, it’s peaceful but I feel like I’m taking up Brian’s time by writing this. Mommy guilt at it’s best.)

Eli is a really great nurser, he has beautiful poopy and wet diapers, as of last Monday he was gaining just like he’s supposed to, everything seems to be okay with him except how can that possibly be when he’s obviously trying to tell us something with his little (BUT BIG) cries?

Today I am meeting with a lactation consultant where she is going to watch me nurse, just to rule out any problems there. Eli loves to eat and gets impatient waiting for letdown, he kicks and screams and grabs my nipples, it’s fun. But we manage to work through each session. (thanks to the support of my sister and my best friends.)

At first I thought that this was just the normal newborn phase but after three weeks of feeling like your baby is always miserable? Well, now I’m wondering if there is something else. I’m trying not to feel like a failure but I’m feeling like a failure.

This too shall pass, I KNOW THIS. I know that before I know it he’s going to be working on his math with me at the kitchen table and I know that this time passes so quickly that we often don’t even remember it but honestly, that doesn’t help me RIGHT NOW at this moment.

I just want my baby to be happy. And comfortable.

I can’t seem to accomplish that.

This season.

April 6th, 2010

Elijah was born to nurse.

There is no doubt in my mind and anyone who gets to spend some time with him (and me), completely agrees. My nipples, they also agree. And the sore on my right side? Oh yes, he agrees, too.

Wonder why I’m not posting so much? Because Elijah is nursing or I’m tired or I’m still recovering from the c-section.

I’m not going to lie to you, I forgot how hard it was to recover from this surgery. Not just the physical pain of it but also the frustration that I can’t just get up and do what I want to do. I’m realizing how much I actually like my house to be in order, I’m realizing that yes, perhaps I am TYPE A and I’m realizing that sitting around doing nothing, (well, not nothing, you know what I mean) is not my thing.

Not being able to go up and down the stairs and much as I need or not being able to snuggle with the kids because of my incision, it’s frustrating!

The last three nights Elijah has slept amazingly well, Brian and I were actually in bed, sleeping at ten, I woke Eli up at 2 to nurse and then we slept until 6:45, this is good, very good because we have been so sleep deprived.

I began nursing him in bed, the sky outside was cloudy with rain…the kids alarm clocks went off at seven and they sleepily crawled into bed with us, all of us so sleepy, still trying to catch up from these past 8 days. I was sitting up, against the headboard, boppy in my lap, baby at my breast, Anna at my feet, wiping the tired from her eyes, Noah to my left, snuggling with Eli’s super soft blanket and then Brian, holding us all together.

It was the five of us. During my entire pregnancy we would lay in bed, the four of us, dreaming of the day we would be five and here it was – no longer a dream but an awesome reality.

These days are hard because I feel so torn, I want to spend more time with Anna and Noah, I want to help Brian with the laundry (the man needs a break!) and I want to hold Eli as much as I can but it’s moments like this morning, with thunder rolling in, the buds on the trees getting bigger each day, that remind me that this is our spring, our season, with blooms and birds and constant changes and some thunderstorms, too, to help remind us how good the sun feels as it shines down on us.

It shines so brightly. I love the way it feels.

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Archive for Baby – Page 2

You listen.

Vincent Vega

This season.

Geek Speak