I’m sitting on my couch.  The hum of the washer and dryer can be heard from a distance, Eli’s swing is playing the sounds of birds and water.  Eli is on the other couch, sleeping.  Peaceful.

My windows are open, it’s seventy-five degrees outside.  About every four minutes the most gentle breeze comes through my window and washes over me.

I wait for the next one to come, it always does.

I can smell the fruit I cut last night, the clothes that I softened with lavender softener.  The sun is shining.

The sky is blue.

Anna and Noah are at their Grandma’s house.  A sleepover with cousins.  The kind that they’ll remember for the rest of their lives… someday they’ll tell their own kids about root beer floats, walks at a park, sleeping in the same bed as their cousins.  Waking up to see Grandma.

Brian and I watched a movie last night, we folded clothes and ate pizza.  We took turns snuggling with Eli (while the other folded the laundry.)  It was the best date, I am not lying to you.  I walked around inside the house with Elijah and saw the sunset, I felt a nudge to go out and enjoy but my heart reminded me that what was inside my house was more beautiful than anything else.  Even the sunset.  (usually)

(sometimes)

I’m feeling pangs of sadness as I think about the summer coming to a close.  The kids starting school next week.  Did we have enough s’mores?  Enough trips to the beach?  Why do we save all of the “good” stuff for summer?

We don’t, the good is just more flirtatious and light in the summer.

I do not want fall and winter to come but I’ve decided to accept it and let it wash over us.  We’ll continue to make the most of this life.

I was sick this weekend, so sick.  Brian and my parents were shopping for computers, I was alone with the kids when I suddenly became ill.  so sick.  so fast.  I cried as I picked up my phone to email Brian “I AM SO SICK.”

Later they told me they looked at each other and knew what to do.  They came right home.  Brian took the baby from my arms, I laid down and slept.  I woke up to the sounds of my Mom playing with Eli, Brian talking to my Dad, the kids playing outside.  I stayed sick but I wasn’t sad that I was sick, I was surrounded by SUCH GOOD that my sick was okay with me.

I am better.

Today, I realized how thankful I am to have all of this laundry to do.  We have clothes and a washing machine.  I have a family that wears these clothes, they spill the food we eat on their pants, the food that comes in abundance.  The food we eat, sitting around a kitchen table or a table on our deck.  There are birds chirping in the distance and plans made for the week ahead.  The week that will soon be over.  Starting the official end of our summer vacation.

A wise friend once said “I decided to stop trying to make friends with time. And we just made peace instead.”

Yes.  That.