Hi friends. I’m sitting in my bed, drinking coffee. I just had a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. My whole family is home right now which will not be the case next week when Brian will be back to work and Anna and Noah will be at school. I like all of us here but I do believe I’m ready for school to begin.

Noah is sitting next to me playing with my new iPad. Anna is playing Barbies, Eli is sleeping, Brian is on a work call.

Last night I slept for over 12 hours. I do believe I am starting to feel much better. Wednesday morning (as in 12:30 in the morning) through Wednesday evening was easily the most pain I have been in in my life. I can’t explain it but nothing, no amount of muscle relaxers or pain killers helped me with the pain. I literally could not move.

Today, I can pee pretty easily and turning on my side isn’t so much a chore. There’s still pain but not as much which makes me hopeful that I’ll be able to NOT go to physical therapy. I’m still working on this whole “sitting in bed” thing, it’s not my thing, I do not like it, I want to be up an doing stuff again. Today I plan to shower and edit a few photos. That’s the extent of my to-do list.

How sad is that?

I feel immense guilt over everything. I waited until three in the morning on Wednesday to call my OB because I felt guilty waking her up. (still do) I had to call my Mom, who lives 20 miles away at three in the morning to come watch the kids, GUILT. Brian having to take time off of work: guilt. Brian not able to travel this weekend for work: tons of guilt. Not being able to be an interactive Mom to the big kids: guilt. Unable to hold Eli: such guilt. Not being able to take Anna and Noah school supply shopping, as I promised: so much guilt.

Last night, I just cried. and cried. and cried. I feel selfish, I hate having to ask someone to help with everything I do. (even turning on my side) It’s temporary, yes. But that doesn’t take away my sadness that I’m feeling at THAT moment.

Also, I feel like my house is falling apart. You know how it is. You step away for a few hours and the mess just continues because you’re not there to pick up after people or tell them when to clean up after themselves. And this isn’t Brian’s fault because he’s working from home, taking care of his gigantic, paralyzed wife, a toddler and two kids.

Fortunately, my Mom has been helping and Stephanie brought us dinner last night (what a beautiful thing from both of them.) So, it’s not like everything is broken, it just feels like it sometimes.

I’m hoping when I come back here on Monday, everything will be better. Yes, that is my hope.

Happy Friday.

I’ve have a surge of creativity running through my body and brain lady. It’s all I can do to catch up with it, hold onto it and listen to it’s whispers. But I’m listening and trying to do what I can with the little, tiny bit of time that I have.

We are in the process of planning new bedrooms and moving furniture and purchasing furniture, picking out paint colors and me explaining why certain purchases are absolutely necessary to my husband. (it’s part of the process, I accept it.)

Today, we are heading out to embark on making some of this real.

But the most creative part of all of this, is trying to find a way to creatively find more time in my life to make all of this happen.

In my mind, I keep saying it’s impossible but my heart is telling me I’m wrong. I hope my heart is right.

My heart is right, RIGHT?

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Happy Friday, Friends. Wishing you a weekend full of exploring your own creativity.

If you think it…do it.

When I first started Friday Morning Coffee, I was pregnant with Eli. I would drop the older kids off at school, come home, top off my coffee, grab a bowl of cocoa puffs and my laptop, sit on the couch and share whatever was on my mind.

Um. Those days have gone bye-bye. Right now, however, I am sitting on my couch with my laptop, for the first time in weeks. I am drinking coffee and I just had a pop tart. (okay, two pop tarts, leave me alone)

This moment of peace is brought to you by Eli waking up at 5:00 this morning. This is also known as UNACCEPTABLE and NOW HE IS GROUNDED.

So, not only am I not sitting around blogging, relaxing and eating cocoa puffs.

Now, I’m chasing Eli, waking up early and I’m in my third trimester.

Can you believe it, friends? TWENTY-EIGHT WEEKS PREGNANT.

(by the way, I decided to crop out my fingers because they are soverylarge.)

Baby girl is becoming so strong. During the past 8 weeks or so, I’ve grown a little frustrated with her lack of movement, I’d become convinced that something was wrong. And then, finally, after hours of freaking out, I’d feel a little *taptaptap* way down low. Like a little reminder, her letting me know she’s okay, she’s just resting because she’s going to be busy for the rest of her life.

But now, she’s making her movements known to the world. Her kicks are hard and her rolls are vigorous and she’s getting so very big. We had an ultrasound the other day and found that she weighs 3.1 pounds already. I love how wonderfully large she is.

She’s becoming the main topic of our conversation these days. Her nursery. Her entrance. Her sweet baby toes. Planning time off from BFP, Brian planning time off from work…

We don’t have time to just sit around and wait which means time is flying, right past our eyes.

I absolutely can not believe how fleeting these moments are, how soon our last child will be in our arms, ready for us to nurture her and watch her grow. I’m so ready for those moments to come but I’m also holding tight to these moments now.

Before we are six. I love that we’ll be six.

Happy Friday, friends.