Adam: Beth, friends, country people, lend me your ears. It’s time for the all-country finale of American Idol, and just like this show that pretty much cuts to the chase, I’ll not spoil this with a lot of talk. Finally it’s just an hour-long show . . . now that I don’t want it to end. Beth, how are you feeling about this final showdown?
Fortunately, I’m not having strong feelings either way. This helps keep my blood pressure down which is important during pregnancy, you know.
Adam: Scotty gets us started with his favorite song of the season: Gone? Really? Gone? Oh, Scotty, I love you like a little twerpy brother, but I don’t think that’s the way to start the biggest night of your young life. He slightly toned down the crazy eyes, and it was fun, and I’m so glad Randy is wearing a smoking jacket. And wait . . . Idol producers decided the judges are so useless they need not comment on the performances? Agreed. They probably loved it. But I expect more from you, Scotty.
I’m so confused about the lack of commentary from the judges because, you know, that’s like, part of the show. I like the performance but because I’ve seen it before I sorta stopped paying attention. I do appreciate him decreasing his use of crazy eyes. I just hope it’s not because he’s saving them for later.
Lauren is up next, singing her favorite song of the season. Now apparently there was some drama prior to the show about her vocal chords being blown out, which makes me think … should she be a singer if that happens during rehearsals? Also? This show is so weird tonight.
I enjoyed Scotty’s performance but I would have enjoyed it more with a cowboy hat. Why does he hate cowboy hats? Anyway, he sounded good. Tonight’s Idol feels like it’s on speed. I’m too old for all of this fast movement. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO IS IN IT TO WIN IT?!?!?!
Lauren just sang “Maybe it was Memphis,” a song choice by her Idol, Carrie Underwood. I thought it was a good performance, nothing spectacular. But good. I wanted to balance a cup of coffee on her skirt. That was a fun thought.
OKAY, the judges are speaking…shhhh….shhhh….shhhh….okay, it’s confirmed, both Scotty and Lauren are in it to win it. *phew* Thanks, Randy.
Oh now, see? I really loved this performance by Scotty. Maybe it was the screens showing his journey? Maybe it was the smoke? Maybe it was Memphis? Whatever it was, I loved it. And maybe you didn’t. heh.
Well, Lauren just stole the show with her performance of “Like my Mother does.” Whoa. Amazing. And her Mom and her Dad hugging afterward probably made me cry. She did really well. And I’m probably still crying but luckily J-Lo’s boobs are distracting me so you know. There’s that.
Adam: Hmm . . . I don’t know. I mean, I definitely agree with part of that, but I didn’t think that was fair. The vocal wasn’t nearly as amazing as the moment of singing a song to her mother. That was amazing. But the singing was just alright. To me, that’s cheating and contrived and probably awesome enough to win. Even now, I’m not sure I can remember how the song goes. Again I say Hmm.
I don’t know what to say about this week’s performance show. I understand now that they muted the judges in the beginning to cram in way too much in a one hour period. I can honestly say that this was one of the most disappointing night of performance I have ever seen. (aside from the night with Clay and Ruben. That was bad.)
I’m still going to say that thanks to the teeny bopper vote, Scotty’s going to win.
Adam: Okay, my final prediction: I think Lauren wins in what was probably the most underwhelming (though not as infuriating as last year’s) finale in Idol history.