It feels so silly to me that I am showing these pictures from that one day in our marriage when there are so many more pictures, BETTER pictures, that really portray us. But this is our reminder of that first day that leads us to today.
Which is a really, really good day.
Remember last week when I wrote about the painting I saw at a furniture store and instantly fell in love with it and wanted it for our ninth wedding anniversary which fell on the seventh? But we didn’t get it because it cost over $300 and we had to be all responsible because our washing machine broke and we had to replace it and my dreams of buying that painting went out the window?
Well, do you remember or not?
The painting, if you recall, made me think of James and Jake the second I saw it. My heart fell to my stomach, I felt the painting that much.
The interesting thing is that since moving into our new house, I have been searching for something to hang over our fireplace. I have looked at decorating websites and flipped through magazines just trying to get an idea of what to do above the fireplace. The one thing I did not want to do was hang a mirror, so, I went to every store ever created and shopped for the perfect print.
I knew that one day, that print would jump out at me and it did, at the furniture store.
But again, it was over $300.
But then, last week, when we went to Ikea, we found what could very well be the exact same print, sitting there, waiting for me to fall in love with it. And I did. All for $99.
Since we’ve been out of town since last Wednesday, I haven’t had a chance to hang it, but I did tonight. I took the wrapping off of it and found a piece of paper about the painter. Come to find out, the painter, has a twin brother. Which makes me love the painting even more.
And tonight, we hung it.
And it’s perfect.
Nine years ago, right now, I was at the salon with my bridesmaids and mother, Brian was golfing with his family.
It was a typical wedding day.
Do you ever wonder what you would do differently, if given a chance? I typically don’t think of such things, as I do my best not to regret anything or question any decision I ever made in the past. But this year? If I could go back in time, I would tell that girl planning her wedding to keep it simple.
Since losing James and Jake, I see pictures of myself years, months, days before losing them. And I want to cry out "watch out, tread carefully…life will not always feel this good."
I wish I could sit down with myself back when the wedding planning began, I wonder what I would say to myself?
Just be simple. Because years from now, life is not going to be simple, it’s going to be so difficult you’ll cry more tears than you ever did as a child. And you won’t be crying because someone hit you or someone stole your stuffed dog, you’ll be crying because your heart will feel the most intense pain and loss you could have ever imagined. Life will not be simple, it’s going to be hard. You and your future husband will experience what it’s like to fight through a marriage, you’ll suffer a loss so huge you won’t know how to get out of bed each morning, but you will. Because of him, because of your children. Because you’re you. The flowers, the cake, the dress, trust me, in the long run, those things do not matter. What matters is you and him, joining hands forever, facing the future prepared for whatever bumps or valley or roadblocks lay ahead. You’ll be together, arms locked, fingers intertwined. I hope I have not made you fear your life together, by these warnings of sadness and grief, because there are many peaks, so much love and uncountable blessings.
Just tread carefully and don’t be afraid to love with all of your heart and soul.
On this day, August 7th, 1999, the only thing that matters is what brought you here today, that and the life that lay ahead.
Brian and I are quickly approaching our ninth wedding anniversary, it’s this Thursday, but we celebrated this weekend with our kids going to Grandma’s for the night, then we went to dinner and I did not drink too much (don’t listen to Brian if he tells you anything different, or Christy who I drunk texted, m’kay? or Crooked Eyebrow who I drunk texted, too.) (not to self – when drinking, leave blackberry in glove compartment. Amen.) and then we went furniture shopping because is there anything more romantic than that?
Oh and we did shop at Wal-Mart after dinner, but we went there for more alcohol and while I should not have gone there since I said I was breaking up with Wal-Mart last week, I can blame being drunk from the vodka filled cosmo and the glasses of red wine, or..uh, I mean, I was drunk from ALL OF THE LOVE.
Yes, that’s more like it.
The night before our big drunk date our romantic celebration we were furniture shopping with the kids (which I only recommend to you if you like stabbing sticks in your eyes) and I found a BEAUTIFUL painting that I loved and that would look stunning above our fireplace, the only problem is that it was a few hundred dollars and if anyone knows Brian, you know that the only time he likes things that are a few hundred dollars are when it’s on a paycheck. So, you can see where we tend to butt heads. Especially when it means spending money on something that just sits there and looks pretty for years to come, he much prefers to spend that type of cash on say, a Wii or a vacuum cleaner or a lawn mower or sunglasses or computer wire, not that I blame him or anything.
But in MY defense, I do not commonly fall in love with artwork, in fact, I’m quite picky, but this particular piece took my breath away and it had a wonderful tree on it and it made me think of our James and Jake, it was peaceful and beautiful. I thought about the sad day, years from now when our children would fight over who would get this phenomenal piece of art after my passing. *sigh*
And let me back up a bit to stop and remind you that last week, I mentioned, in passing, that our washing machine was broken and well, it’s true, it was broken. By Saturday morning the situation was turning critical as the laundry piles were building and the water that was sitting in the washer when it broke was still sitting in the same washer and well, standing water is never a good thing, unless it’s in an ocean and I’m sitting by it in a chair with a margarita and a flat stomach.
This was not the case. So, Brian called the repair guy and he basically said "well, I’ll charge you $109 just to come out to your house and seven years ago you paid $350 for this washer, sooooooooooooooooo…just buy a new one."
Which I’m sure he meant from his store, but that just went right over our heads and instead of the family owned appliance store with excellent service, with whom I went to high school with their daughter, we decided to go to Best Buy. Because, well, isn’t that where you go to buy a washing machine?
But, the salesperson at Best Buy was ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC, (big shout-out to Best Buy coming….) not only did the person at Best Buy teach us about every single washer, he didn’t really care what we bought, because he doesn’t work on commission, so when he was helping us? He
was really helping us and it was amazing. And then, on a Sunday, about 20 hours after we walked into Best Buy, I was washing a load of laundry in my brand new, front loading, very fancy and smart and efficient washing machine. And to make matters even better? I was actually sad when I was done with my laundry last night. I’m not kidding.
I may actually re-wash my clothes, you know, for fun.
And Ariel? Well, she watches the cycles like it’s the best Hannah Montana episode ever.
It’s awesome.
So, my point is, that washing machine? Has suddenly turned into our anniversary present, which is terribly romantic and all, but seriously? A washing machine?
I know, we are overloaded with romance here at the folding laundry household, it’s just like the year we bought a house for our anniversary in 2003.
It’s the stuff Harlequins are made of.
But next year, we decided we are going to do something really amazing and different…we are going to buy the matching dryer.
I honestly can’t wait.
(since many of you are asking…no, we did not get the artwork.)
From Friday night until this morning I have slept a total of twenty seven hours, which is almost as exciting as being stuck in a room filled with endless Coldstone Creamery and pizza. oh and Brad Pitt.
I said almost.
Either way, this sleeping thing is a pretty good gig. I had forgotten how wonderful it was to lay down in bed and just fall asleep with no effort, or to wake up in the middle of the night to pee and lay back down and then fall asleep with ease, or to not even wake up at all to pee, which is what happened last night. The last time that happened was when I was about six weeks pregnant way back in November.
The new sleeping medicine has been fairly good to me, however, I’m still shaky and groggy through most of the day, including right now, I have an appointment with my g.p. today, we’ll see what medication he changes.
Since I have been finally sleeping, I have been in a better mood, which just delights Brian, and quite frankly, delights me, too.
This past Saturday night we did some shopping with our kids at The Big Mall. I decided to try on some jeans at The Gap to see if purchasing a more expensive pair could potentially be worth the added cost. Certainly spending thirty dollars more on a pair of jeans would mean a better fit, right? I was really hoping to solve my denim dilemma, or at least throw in a second pair of jeans that I could hold off washing for weeks and weeks. And weeks.
Into the dressing room I went with a pair of size 10 Long and Leans and a size 12 Long and Leans. I tried on the size tens and I don’t think I could even button them. I put on the size twelves and they fit me really well, just a tiny bit of my muffin poured over the top of the jeans, but I knew the jeans would stretch out a bit, as we discussed last week. The jeans were particularly nice because they were mid-rise, as opposed to low-rise, which we all know that low-rise jeans were invented by the devil.
or a man.
I bought the jeans. I wore them yesterday and within four hours, they were literally sliding off of my body. LITERALLY, like, if I didn’t pull them up, the public would be exposed to my flabby, deflated belly.
Sometimes I am so hot, I can hardly take it.
Now I’m stuck with these jeans which cost over SIXTY DOLLARS and I don’t know what to do. I can’t even hide the jeans from Brian because he had to pay for them since I left my purse at home. He heard the total and looked at me and I was all like "Look! a bird! over there!" And I ran and hid behind one of the scrawny Gap mannequins, which did not do a good job of hiding me at all, because, you know, they’re scrawny, and well, I am not.
So, I just batted my eyelashes at him, which only reminded him that he just had to pay for my Clinique mascara.
Am I stuck with these jeans, or not? I want to return them, but it’s not like I could fit into the size tens, but would I have been able to if I wore them for a few hours? Would they stretch that much? Would The Gap even exchange them after I wore them? They look ridiculous, I have to wear a belt, A BELT!. I have to pull the belt so tight that the denim is bunching in front of me below the waist and in back of me, above my bottom. Again, the hotness, I don’t know how you can even stand all of the hotness that happens on this blog.
Just tell me, what would you do in this situation…please.
