stupid crap
and ignite your bones
Posted by: | CommentsI’m sitting on my couch. The hum of the washer and dryer can be heard from a distance, Eli’s swing is playing the sounds of birds and water. Eli is on the other couch, sleeping. Peaceful.
My windows are open, it’s seventy-five degrees outside. About every four minutes the most gentle breeze comes through my window and washes over me.
I wait for the next one to come, it always does.
I can smell the fruit I cut last night, the clothes that I softened with lavender softener. The sun is shining.
The sky is blue.
Anna and Noah are at their Grandma’s house. A sleepover with cousins. The kind that they’ll remember for the rest of their lives… someday they’ll tell their own kids about root beer floats, walks at a park, sleeping in the same bed as their cousins. Waking up to see Grandma.
Brian and I watched a movie last night, we folded clothes and ate pizza. We took turns snuggling with Eli (while the other folded the laundry.) It was the best date, I am not lying to you. I walked around inside the house with Elijah and saw the sunset, I felt a nudge to go out and enjoy but my heart reminded me that what was inside my house was more beautiful than anything else. Even the sunset. (usually)
(sometimes)
I’m feeling pangs of sadness as I think about the summer coming to a close. The kids starting school next week. Did we have enough s’mores? Enough trips to the beach? Why do we save all of the “good” stuff for summer?
We don’t, the good is just more flirtatious and light in the summer.
I do not want fall and winter to come but I’ve decided to accept it and let it wash over us. We’ll continue to make the most of this life.
I was sick this weekend, so sick. Brian and my parents were shopping for computers, I was alone with the kids when I suddenly became ill. so sick. so fast. I cried as I picked up my phone to email Brian “I AM SO SICK.”
Later they told me they looked at each other and knew what to do. They came right home. Brian took the baby from my arms, I laid down and slept. I woke up to the sounds of my Mom playing with Eli, Brian talking to my Dad, the kids playing outside. I stayed sick but I wasn’t sad that I was sick, I was surrounded by SUCH GOOD that my sick was okay with me.
I am better.
Today, I realized how thankful I am to have all of this laundry to do. We have clothes and a washing machine. I have a family that wears these clothes, they spill the food we eat on their pants, the food that comes in abundance. The food we eat, sitting around a kitchen table or a table on our deck. There are birds chirping in the distance and plans made for the week ahead. The week that will soon be over. Starting the official end of our summer vacation.
A wise friend once said “I decided to stop trying to make friends with time. And we just made peace instead.”
Yes. That.
Friday Morning Coffee
Posted by: | CommentsI don’t think I have the ability to create thoughts that make any sense right now. I’m really tired and have a lot on my mind. I am drinking my coffee and I had a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios earlier. This morning started out really early for all of us. It was pretty annoying but mostly it was nice. (DO NOT TELL MY KIDS I SAID THAT.)
In a few hours, I’ll be getting a haircut, my first one since Eli was just five weeks old and even then it was barely a haircut. My hair is going through that phase after having a baby where it all falls out. It’s pretty alarming how much is falling out.
Speaking of postpartum. I miss being pregnant. I am SO THANKFUL I enjoyed it so much.
And then after the awesome pregnancy, came this guy.
Eli is officially in nine month clothing. I’m not really sure how that happened. With Anna and Noah I started them on rice cereal at four months but with Eli, I’ve decided to hold off a bit, even though he really wants to try Honey Nut Cheerios. I can tell by the way he stares at me. His four month appointment is this Wednesday and he’s officially rolling over.
In fact, yesterday he rolled all over the living room. I can remember Anna rolling over seven years ago and being so excited. But when Eli rolls over, there are two older kids laughing and cheering him on and telling everyone they know about their baby brother rolling over. Makes the whole experience that much more amazing.
I wanted to share a few favorite links for you. First, I discovered this blog and I absolutely love it. It’s a great read while nursing or pumping and inspires me, like a lot. I’m considering painting my kitchen table, the table white and the chairs blue or the chairs orange…I can’t decide.
And then The Nester is sharing about nurseries. Which reminds me, I need to share the details on Eli’s nursery with you guys. I love his room.
If I start painting everything in my house and moving everything around and never blogging again, I blame these two jerks for inspiring me.
Wish me luck at my haircut … I’m thinking lots of bangs.
Enjoy your weekend. Seriously. ENJOY it.
7 going on out of control
Posted by: | CommentsRight now my kids are playing with Play-doh. Noah is making sushi and Anna is making balls of huge color with dots in them. I just took a shower while Eli napped, Anna and Noah listened for Eli as he slept.
I’m painfully tired. Eli woke up almost every two hours last night and wanted to nurse and my morning started at 7:30 am after going to bed at midnight.
Today we have grocery shopping to do, errands to run, school registration to complete and everyday things that must be done.
I’m painfully tired. Okay, I said that. But today is different as both Anna and Noah are being punished today. Anna may not go outside and play with friends or watch TV and Noah can not watch TV.
I’m not a perfect parent and I swear I hope I never hope I am. I think that’s the problem with a lot of parenting these days is that parents think their kids are perfect when really when their kids are not near their parents … THEY ARE SO FAR FROM PERFECT.
I’m even talking about my kids. No, really, I am. Also, as far as parenting is concerned, I give myself a 4 (on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being obnoxiously awesome) on bad (most) days and an 8 on the rest (rare) days. Just this past Sunday, we were at a family reunion, I had Eli in my sling, I was carrying two plates, getting lunch, trying to be SUPERMOM! when Eli put his hand in the mashed potatoes and burned his little tiny hand. Here I am, holding two plates of food with sticky, (sub-par) mashed potatoes burning his hands. My brother-in-law grabbed one plate, my sister the other, I grabbed a handful of napkins and wiped his hand, while he screamed.
He’s four months old and he burned himself. Ultimate parenting fail, right? Except WRONG because this has already happened to one of my kids. When Anna was just shy of her first birthday, she put her hand in hot mashed potatoes when a waitress put mashed potatoes right in front of her. So, now I’ve decided to banish mashed potatoes forever because they are trying to kill my kids. (except I’ll eat my Mom’s mashed potatoes and mine and Lovelyn’s and my mother-in-law’s and also the mashed potatoes from Chili’s because they’re all garlic-y and also at Thanksgiving. God I love Thanksgiving. Only 16 more weeks!)
Wait. Where was I?
Oh yes, I’m trying to kill my kids with mashed potatoes. Yes.
Anyway, yesterday my daughter did something quite naughty. Like as in baaaad. I’m not going ot tell you what it was because I think that would be wrong, it was just wrong. I mean, it’s not like she stole anything, OKAY SHE DID, SHE STOLE MY iPHONE, are you happy now?!
She did. While I was upstairs with Eli, she took my iPhone outside and played with it and let her friends play it, too.
How did I catch her? I came downstairs and found my phone way too close to the patio door. And if I hadn’t caught her that way, I would have caught her when I saw that she took pictures of her friends outside and of my neighbor’s car and of the grass. I wonder if, as a good parent, I should teach her how to better hide her poor decisions by, you know, DELETING THE EVIDENCE, but I’m guessing I should not.
By the way, in case you are wondering, I did not fall asleep on my bed with Eli while my kids were downstairs except, yes, I did. But you know what? My kids are 6.5 and 7.5 years old (the POINT FIVE definitely matters, here.) In some countries, kids that age are working and bringing home paychecks to their parents (remind me to revisit that idea after writing this post.) I’m not saying I AGREE with that, I’m just sayin’.
So, while I’m upstairs parenting *cough* Eli, my iPhone gets stolen by my daughter and shared with her friends.
Note of interest: I do not let my kids play with my iPhone. Mainly because a.) it is mine. b.) I can not afford to get another one, if it breaks I have to use a calculator as my phone and c.) IT IS MINE. Now, things may change with Eli getting older because he looks at it and grabs for it and says “oooh, twitter.” So, you know, I’m always open for change. But not behind my back.
Also, while I was upstairs “parenting” Eli, my other child, Noah, allows a girl, twice his age to come in and go through my cabinets to look for food to eat because her Mom won’t give her a snack. Now here’s the thing, I wasn’t totally sleeping because Anna came upstairs 43 times in a 60 minute time period and asked for a marshmallow and each time I said “no” because I’m not downstairs and if you choke I should be with you. And then Noah would come upstairs and ask for ice cream sandwiches for our neighbors and also WHY AREN’T WE FEEDING OUR CHILDREN?
(it’s important to note that I do not allow other children in my house mainly because that gives me too much *unpaid* responsibility and also because I can’t keep up with my kids’ messes, let alone other kids’. Also: I HAVE AN INFANT.)
I’m finally waking up with tiny Eli, which was good because God knows what would have happened in my house if I hadn’t or if I had slipped into a coma and Noah comes up and says “can Trudy* have cheese-its…she reallllly wants cheeze-its.” ”um no, Trudy* may not have cheeze-its and how does she know we have cheeze-its?” (and also is there really a “z” in cheeze-its?)
Needless to say, I figure all of this out, while nursing on the couch and drinking diet coke (SUPERMOM!) and I’m like “get your asses inside and send your friends home.”
Except I swear to you, I NEVER cuss in front of my kids. YET. The rest is true, though.
They came in and I felt betrayed and I told them so and they admitted to making dumb choices and allowing a much older girl to influence them but also they know the rules and GAH. I was “gone” for one stinking hour.
So, today my kids are being punished. Now Noah is playing Uno by himself (against two other “people”) and Anna is writing numbers down 1-300 and it’s surprisingly quiet except in my mind I’m so disturbed by yesterday’s events that my heart hurts and I’m wondering how they learned to be little jerks when I thought I raised them to be friendly.
I’m ending this with four thoughts:
1. I will be using Eli’s video monitor to monitor Anna when she is seventeen. And eighteen.
2. You may think your child does no wrong but you are probably wrong and if you don’t realize that we are all in trouble. (also, if you have older children who hang out with younger children, I implore you to ask them not to share their views on Santa, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy with their younger, more innocent friends.)
3. Lives online are never perfect. No matter how they’re portrayed.
4. This is the point when I can see parents giving up on their kids. If you think this is the only thing Anna has ever done wrong, you would be wrong, there are all sorts of problems that are leaving Brian and I very concerned. I can see parents shrugging and saying “it’s just her personality, she likes to be in control.” Except NO. I do not accept that. I accept her personality, I do not accept disrespect.
The buck stops here, little girl.
*Trudy is not her real name. Every girl in our neighborhood has the same name, I’d hate to wrongfully incriminate the wrong girl just because THEY ALL HAVE THE SAME NAME.
Just in case.
Posted by: | CommentsJust in case you’ve ever wanted to chew on lemonade, you should probably buy this because it’s like chewing on lemonade. (at least for the first five minutes.) It is goooo-oood.
And just in case you want to see what Eli looked like fifteen minutes ago. This photo was taken with my iPhone. I love him. Like, a lot.
(ignore my bra strap. That’s an order!)
Today, Brian has an all day school function in Chicago and Anna has an all day birthday party, so I’ll just be hanging out with my boys which I love. I can’t decide to what to do. Should I stay home and clean? or go grocery shopping where Noah will be just like his father and ask me if what I’m putting in my cart is “on my list” and he’ll be sure to point out how much “money I’m wasting.”
Either way, I don’t care. I just want to hear Noah tell Eli how “cute and fresh” he is.
He’ll already do anything for his brother.
Even wear socks on his hands to entertain him.
(by the way, this is how I shower…Noah truly IS Eli’s entertainer.)
Happy Saturday!
Elijah
Posted by: | CommentsEli wanted me to stop and tell you “hello!”
Except he didn’t really say that, that would be weird.
and awesome.
But mostly weird.
He’s been such a wonderful baby, essentially he slept until 10:30 this morning with two teeny, tiny feedings thrown in at at 4:40 and 7:30 am, so he pretty much could ask for a new car today and I’d probably get him one. Except not, because I have fourteen dollars in my checking account.
Anyway. Just a quick hello to tell you that I need to take a break from a few things and I’m afraid blogging is one of them. I may pop in to share some photos with you, after all, I am taking another photography workshop and need to take many photos, so why not share, but I won’t be writing until next week.
You Capture will continue as scheduled this week and also, I’ve blogged over here.
Maybe this is a good time to open up my comments for any questions you may have for me? I can’t answer all of them (or maybe I can? who knows?) Either way, ask away and I’ll answer on my blog when I’m back.
Oh and here’s Elijah as of this morning.
He’s such an amazing little baby.
