Stupid Crap | I Should Be Folding Laundry

Archive for stupid crap – Page 2

Kiss the sky

October 10th, 2012

I spent so much of my life singing the song “kiss the sky” as “excuse me as I kiss this guy” not realizing that it was “kiss the sky” not “kiss this guy.”

I’ve looked back at such a thing as a complete waste of time. Did I really spend time doing something so incorrectly? It actually frustrates me.

I’ve spent much of my morning editing for my clients. I am so disgustingly, disturbingly, embarrassingly behind I can hardly stand it. I actually have tears in my eyes as I admit that to you. I edit my images by tens, I start with ten in Lightroom, move them to Photoshop, I edit all ten, and then I save all ten. I had just edited the tenth one, about to save them all when Photoshop failed and “closed unexpectedly.” I watched the images disappear before my eyes. I literally envisioned the time I just spent editing those images, maybe 25 minutes? 25 minutes I simply do not have, be flushed down the toilet. A complete waste of time.

It led towards a downward spiral of thoughts of time wasted.

I rinse the kids’ sinks of toothpaste only to return to sinks with toothpaste plastered on them.

I finally get the laundry caught up when I have to do another load and another and another and another and OMG.

I change a diaper. Well, you know. I change another and another and another. so much poop.

Every night, it’s homework and dinner and prepping for the next day and finally getting the kids to bed and responding to clients and picking up toys and every day it’s the exact same thing DAY IN AND DAY OUT.

The grocery store? How do I need to go grocery shopping every three days?!

Every day is a battle with a different child about something different. My first battle today was with Anna at five in the morning after I fell asleep after one in the morning. How can my oldest child be my most challenging? (I ask her this same question, she has no good answer.)

I take ten minutes to paint my nails as “a treat” to me and chip them ten minutes later. (probably from ridding the sinks of toothpaste)

I pay my bills only to get another bill for the next month seemingly minutes after the paying the bill.

A bathe Eli before bed and the next day he runs macaroni and cheese through his hair.

Is this my life? Is this your life? Do I fight it or accept it?

I recently learned that with 3 conscience breaths you can recover from anything.

So, I take the three deep breaths. Slow. Steady. Mindful.

and maybe for a minute, maybe two, I feel a bit of much desired peace in my heart, maybe it lasts and maybe it doesn’t. But it does remind me that peace is attainable, however brief, if I allow myself even a minute to retrieve it.

And it doesn’t mean that my problems and my concerns, my busy-ness of my day and life go away but it means that even for those three conscience breaths I took time to BE. For me. And that helped when I really needed it.

(source)

The rug

August 29th, 2012

Not only have I not spent a lot of time outside the house, I haven’t spent a lot of time alone. A few days ago I decided that I had had enough and needed to get out. I decided to go grocery shopping. I’ve been given permission to drive (after I started driving), it’s no small feat. Once I get to the car using a crutch and wearing my boot, I climb in and have to take my boot off and loosely put on my athletic shoe. I can then drive.

It takes awhile because there are so many layers to a boot and large velcro straps and also my boot is GIGANTIC and the space below the steering wheel really isn’t that large so there’s lot of finagling to do.

So, I decided to go to the grocery store which was a pretty ambitious task considering I’ve barely been anywhere at all in the past five weeks but I needed to do it. I missed grocery shopping.

I got my shoe on and started to drive. I noticed that there was some darkness in the sky ahead so I checked the radar on my phone and saw that it was going to be raining HARD for a long time in just a few minutes. I immediately realized that this trip was pretty impossible, difficult already but with rain on a crutch in a boot with a cart? I’m thinking no. So, I turned around. I sent a text to Brian and let him know that I was returning and why.

And then it hit me. That undeniable urge to go to the bathroom. You know that one, right? The one that at first you think your stomach is just a bit grumbly and then things move south with great urgency. You squeeze things together to try to, I don’t know, move things back up? Change it’s mind? But really what you should do is get to the nearest restroom ASAP.

I considered stopping at a gas station but the image of me rushing through the doors wearing a large boot and a single crutch wasn’t very appealing to me. I have an image to uphold, don’t you know.

So, I continued on towards my house. Typically that trip takes about 4 minutes but on this particular trip it seemed to take 4.23 hours. It was very frustrating.

And risky.

Finally. I pull into my driveway, open the garage door and realize that I still have to put my boot on. Had I brought two crutches, I could have skipped the whole boot thing but with one crutch, it was impossible. Totally impossible. So, I grab my boot from the passenger side and start putting it on. And things became … dangerous. I had to skip much of the process so I left two of the large vecro straps unstrapped and grabbed my crutch and OMG WATCH OUT PEOPLE, MAMA’S GOTTA GO.

I hobble up the stairs (by the way, I sent another text to Brian and let him know about the very serious situation – PLEASE CLEAR ALL WALKWAYS AND MAKE SURE NO ONE IS IN THE BATHROOM – I believe was the exact instruction.)

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the hobbling. I hobble up the steps, barely keeping my boot on and start to walk and something grabs me and I get pulled back. I try to pull my leg against this force, what was it? An alligator? Why does my leg now weigh 550 pounds? I drag my foot and look down and see that my large velcro straps have grasped the giant rug in the laundry room. I reached down and try to release the straps and OHMYGOD THIS WILL NOT END WELL. Brian is nearby “can I help?! What’s going on?!” he said “THESE MOTHER $#@#& STRAPS, they’re holding onto the rug, I’m going to die!”

FINALLY, they let go and I walk and again. I feel it again, this force or this alligator, I’m not sure which and there’s another rug grabbing onto my boot like a water skier to a boat except this is NO TIME FOR RECREATION!

WHY DO I HAVE SO MANY RUGS?!?! I yell out loud.

Brian grabs the rug and I barely make it.

But I made it. Thankfully.

It never did rain, by the way.

Desperately Seek Leg

August 15th, 2012

Clara woke me up at 5:55 this morning. Sometimes this is okay, except really it’s not ever okay.

But today it was extra cruel because I can’t walk and Brian is in North Carolina for work and I was hoping she’d stay in bed until Anna woke up so she could help me take Clara down the stairs.

It’s 9:12 am and Anna is still sleeping.

I keep my hopes very high.

Not only did I struggle with “how in the hell will I get her down the stairs” but also, I need to brush my teeth and put my contacts in and also bras are handy to have on sometimes but leaving Clara on the bed while I perform these typically simple duties is dangerous since she’ll crawl right off the bed.

Have I mentioned she started crawling? It’s true. About five days after my injury she started crawling. Isn’t that spectacular? Know what is spectacular? Our babysitter’s last day was the very same day of my injury. hahahahahaha, oh life. You’re so crazy.

But, luckily, I have since hired a new babysitter who we love that will start next week. I can’t wait. Also, I CAN NOT WAIT.

Anyway, back to this morning. I was able to turn a Baby Einstein video on in our room, so Clara was pretty captivated. I was able to brush, contact lens and bra myself.

The task at hand was getting down the stairs with my crutches and this very large 10 month old. I’ve included a photo of her chubbiness. I’m not sure how this happened.

Anyway, we did it. (with baby monitor and iPhone tucked into my waistband) I slid down on my bottom,with Clara on my lap, sliding my crutches down as we descended.

I then proceeded to get my coffee, which sounds simple but with crutches, walking with coffee? IMPOSSIBLE.

Well, almost. I did that, too.

I found out yesterday that I won’t be walking without crutches for another two weeks. Also, no driving. These things madden me and make sad. But I realized I’m grateful for a few things.

One: crutches.

Two: having kids 8 and 9 years ago (they’re such good helpers)

Three: things with hooks (things can hang so nicely from the bars where my hands go.)(but then when things are hanging there, my hands can’t go there. It’s quite a predicament.)

Four: people who help (so so thankful for this)

Five: a machine that ices me four times a day

Six: healing

Oh, it’s 9:35 and Anna’s is STILL sleeping. I’m so glad I made it down the stairs a long, long, LONG time ago. Now it’s time to head back up for Clara’s morning nap.

Friday Morning Coffee

August 3rd, 2012

It’s Friday evening, I’m upstairs eating pizza from one of my favorite local pizza places, there’s a laundry basket flipped upside next to me with two pillows on top. My foot rests on the pillows. I was editing images but decided to take a break to pop in here.

I can hear the kids downstairs with Brian. Everyone is pretty loud, singing, telling knock-knock jokes that make no sense whatsoever, Clara breaks out in a little scream every so often and Brian is making up songs about Eli to the song “Camptown Races.”

I’m up here, away from it all.

Unfortunately, my sprain is actually a complex sprain, a “level 3 sprain.” I’ve torn the ligaments on both sides of my ankle and the membrane in between. I began therapy yesterday. My therapist said it’s the worst sprain she has seen in a long, long time. I have to wear a boot, for 4-6 weeks. I’m on crutches until at least next week.

To be honest, this pretty much devastates me.

Today, I opened my camera bag and finally took some photos. It’s amazing how something so simple can make you feel even a little bit better. I felt like “me” if even for a brief moment.

Clara turned ten months two days ago. TEN MONTHS?!?! I can’t even believe it. She’s so sweet. She also started crawling on her ten month birthday. Lately, three times a day, she lays with me in my bed to take her naps and to fall asleep at night. She just drifts, right in front of my eyes. It’s one of my favorites things. In the photo above, I asked her how big Clara was, that was her response. She pushes her chunky little cheek into her raised arm.

Eli decided to join in on the photo shoot. It was extremely cute.

I have many more images to share but I’m saving a few for next week’s You Capture.

Here’s my boot. This image actually embarrasses me because I’m in my pajamas and in all of my 9,323 years of blogging, I don’t think I’ve included a photo of me in my pajamas before and with good reason. So, let’s just focus on my fancy boot, m’kay?

I’m going to try harder to be optimistic. I have therapy three times this week, so hopefully soon I’ll be able to walk without crutches. That, in itself, will lift my spirits. Know what else lifts my spirits? The people who are taking the time out of their lives to help me and my family.

We are going to take the kids to the park and get ice cream. It’s funny how something so simple is making me so excited.

Reluctant Rester

July 29th, 2012

Thursday evening, I had just cleaned and reorganized Anna and Noah’s closet. I came downstairs and made brownies, placed them in the oven. I looked outside and noticed it was raining. A beautiful soft shower, but heavy with the softest little drops you’ve ever seen. It was so pretty. I decided to take my flowers that were hanging on my porch and place them in the rain. I went into the garage to get a plant stand, because of the nature of this pot, the flowers hang over the sides, so just simply placing them on the ground wouldn’t work without damaging the flowers.

I quickly found what I was looking for and went back into the house, walked through the kitchen, down the hall and into the foyer where I opened the front door. I stepped down onto the porch, my left hand on the door knob and landed directly on my right ankle. The fall, caused me to slam the door and drop the plant stand. I landed a few feet from the door. I immediately knew I had caused significant damage to my ankle. I knew I was unable to stand. I pulled myself to the door and knocked on it, Anna answered and started yelling for Brian.

Brian quickly came out and stood me up, I then hopped to the couch and watched my ankle grow. After a few minutes we took my shoe off and continued to watch. (we immediately iced and elevated)

I knew I had to get to the emergency room, so we sorta scrambled getting someone here to watch the kids so Brian could take me. (in the meantime, my ankle continue to swell. It was relentless.) Luckily, Lynette, then my parents came to the rescue.

We made it to the ER, the only people there, x-rays were taken without 15 minutes after our arrival and they didn’t see any fractures. As of right now, it’s a severe sprain with possible torn tendons or ligaments. I see a doctor this week.

In the meantime, I’m on crutches, I can’t walk, I can’t do anything except sit. I’m on day three and this is no longer fun or cute. It’s annoying and I’m losing my mind. I hate not being able to get my own coffee or change diapers or do laundry. Mostly I hate having to ask someone to do those things for me.

I’m on crutches for at least a week. If it’s longer, I will, without a doubt, lose.my.mind.

But here’s a pretty picture of my ankle for you taken at the emergency room. The swelling is more spread out now, through my toes, etc. And the coloring is more blue.

I guess I’ll be around my blog more often.

« Previous Page