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Still.

February 19th, 2013

Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement through comments or emails or Facebook messages. I appreciate the time you all took to share your heart with me. (although, the incessant, ignorant and, of course, anonymous commenter I could have done without, but that’s okay, that’s why I moderate my comments now.)

I know that news like that can shake you up. It still shakes me to my core, I’m still shocked by all that is happening, even though I’ve been living it minute by minute since last year. But it’s okay. I’m okay. We are all okay. I promise you.

I’m still the same person.

I still can’t wait to see my kids’ faces in the morning.

I still can’t wait to check on them before I head to bed.

I still love graham crackers.

I still love to photograph everything I possibly can.

I’m still grateful for every breath I take.

I’m still grieving the loss of our precious boys. (five years next week. That’s difficult for me to handle right now.)

I still eat as if it were my job. (quickly and with great focus.)

I still eat ice cream every night. (I did give that up for awhile but I needed it back.) (so it’s back) (forever)

I still work … a lot.

I’m still grateful for every person that hires me to photograph their family.
(always will be.)

I still laugh and joke. (how could I not?)

I still love Steel Magnolias and Brad Pitt.

I still love yellow.

And coffee.

I’m still grateful for all of you who check in and leave comments and share how you’ve been reading for awhile. (that’s one of my favorite things. This is truth.)

I still plan to be here. Writing. Sharing. Like always.

Pain in the tooth

April 4th, 2011

I had intended to share photos from Eli’s party but yesterday afternoon I started getting a little toothache. By evening, it hurt pretty bad. I slept pretty poorly, woke up, took some Tylenol, tried calling my dentist, just got a voicemail. I continued to ache and continued to call. Voicemail. Ache. Voicemail. Ache.

Finally, they called back and said they couldn’t get me in until Tuesday morning.

“so, since I have to wait 24 hours, can something be called in until then. I’m really uncomfortable.”

“You can take four Advil.”

“Okay, but I’m pregnant.”

“You’re pregnant?!?!!? Don’t take the Advil and your OB has to fill out a form before we can see you.”

I got in contact with my OB, they had faxed the form back right away and I’m just sitting, waiting for ten tomorrow morning. I put Eli down for a nap, I laid down in my bed and fell right to sleep. Then, out of nowhere, a shooting pain shot through my gums into my ear. The pain continued and never, ever stopped. In fact, it became worse.

I called the dentist back and asked if they could PLEASE call something in. They said “no.”

I called my OB’s office, they called in Tylenol 3. We went to pick it up. Friends, I was in excruciating pain times 100. I can’t even describe it to you. I wanted to be knocked out, shot, anything. We went to Walgreens and they hadn’t checked their voicemails, yet.

So, no pain medicine.

I start crying. AGAIN. (I’m in the car, freaking the shit out of my kids, I’m sure) Brian’s inside probably telling the pharmacist that if he doesn’t check his voicemail, it’s very likely I’ll come in and check it for him.

After an hour, we get the prescription. I come home, take the medicine. My tooth laughs at it. I still want to die.

And here I am. Still waiting for ten tomorrow morning.

good times.

Pieces.

February 9th, 2011

I’m back to feeling like I don’t really have much to say and so why should I come here and tell you guys unimportant details about my life, so I’m not so inspired to stop in. But now that I’m here, I can think of 429 things I want to share with you, so, being a democratic blog, I’ll let you all decide:

Do you want me to tell you about the photography workshop I’m attending in two weeks? (details will be limited because that’s just the way I am but still…I am dying that it’s almost here.)

Do you want to hear how my 8 year old daughter hurt my feelings last night and how last week she said “sex” and this morning she said “bitch” and how scared out of my mind I am to be raising a daughter? (which will undoubtedly turn into a post begging parents to either A. watch their language around their children or B. if you must use these words in front of your children, please stress to them that these are words only adults use…)

Should I tell you how I gave Anna and Noah Rice Krispies today, for their first time and I was like “listen! SNAP! CRACKLE! POP! ooooh” and they were like “yeah but it still tastes like sand.” And I realized what a simple child I was.

Would you rather hear about how my husband spoiled me on my birthday shopping trip on Saturday and see my goodies from Anthro?

or would you prefer I shut my mouth and show you some newborn photos from my session on Monday?

Hoyle-WM-5962

Seriously.

You decide.

Fisher Price EZ Bundle

September 8th, 2010

Alright friends. I’m about to do something that I haven’t done in many, many, many years.

Awhile ago, many, many, many years ago, I decided that I would never do a product review without giving away that same products to my readers. You guys are important to me, I have always said “I like free stuff but I like my readers better.” Believe me, I know what it’s like to go to blogs and read endlessly about products they are reviewing and you end up scratching your head and wondering “is this person even telling the truth?”

You know I’m right.

Anyway, a few weeks ago, I was contacted about reviewing something called the Fisher Price EZ Bundle.

T3643-babygear-ez-bundle-d-1 Aren’t the colors cool and fantastic? I think so, too. But, I just couldn’t do it. I have standards, people! I showed it to Brian and he was like “so, when do you get it?” I was taken aback…”um, no, I’m not going to do it because I don’t do reviews when there isn’t a giveaway attached” and he was like “yeah, but maybe do it, this thing looks pretty awesome.”

Me: But no giveaway!

Him: But lots of free things, things we will actually use!

Me: But

Him: FREE

Me: STANDARDS!

Him: We have $14 in our checking account.

Me: BUT.

and I surrendered and I sort of want to apologize to you because I feel like I’ve let you down but I feel kind of good about this because maybe you should know about this product and also I have SO MANY CUTE PICTURES OF ELI! (so, we’re cool, right?)

Also, maybe Fisher-Price will be like, “awwww…let’s give away some to her readers! You’re getting a Fisher Price EZ Bundle! You’re getting a Fisher Price EZ Bundle! You’re getting a Fisher Price EZ Bundle! You’re getting a Fisher Price EZ Bundle!” or whatever.

FP-swing

Aden + Anais blankie, froggie and cute baby are not included.

This is what I put Eli in each morning while I shower and get ready. I like it pretty well! ”I like it, too!” he says.

That chair piece comes off and attaches to other components. The idea being that rather than having all four of these full size things (swing, infant seat, toddler seat and highchair) taking up much needed space in your home, you can just have one. But really, that’s not true, you have one put together and two other components, lying around.

So, less stuff but still stuff. And good news, you need not be a genius to take these things apart and put back together. I did it without instructions WHICH SAYS A WHOLE LOT.

Here’s Eli in the highchair. We love this highchair. He sits up incredibly well in it and he things it’s pretty fancy. The other components are placed in front of the highchair.

Eli-and-parts

Eli-8311

Cute baby and crinkly book not included. This is Eli’s FAVORITE book. It’s about crinkles and things to bite on. and drool.

Eli-in-his-highchair

Hey Mom, I dropped my book about crinkles. A little help?

Eli-and-Noah

And then his brother came home from school. (neither brother is included. They are mine.)

And here’s the seat as an infant seat.

Eli-in-seat

Eli likes it pretty well but we think he would have REALLY liked it 2 months ago. Now he thinks he’s sixteen and wants to sit up all of the time. Fortunately, there is a toddler seat, which is the highchair without the legs, but we haven’t put him in that, yet.

So, what are my honest thoughts? Well, HONESTLY, when I saw that first picture (pictured above) I thought, “WOW! Four products in one box, SMART!” So, either the marketing is a little misleading or I have zero brain cells leftover. Then Brian took it out of the box and I was like “wait, there are 325 pieces missing.” And then he explained to his wife, who has lost too many brain cells, exactly how it works.

We like it. It’s incredibly sturdy, high quality, lightweight, easy to clean and really we think traveling with it will be awesome. Would we want it instead of having each thing individually…not necessarily. I’m always on the move, from one task to the next and having to put Eli down (on the floor?) to move things around just doesn’t seem to fit with my life, so that bothers me a bit. But for the price $150.00? I think it’s a pretty good deal.

Questions? Concerns? Ask me! And thanks Fisher-Price for the review.

*and now back to our regularly schedule no reviews without a giveaway show. Thank you for your patience.*

This product was given to me, free of cost, in exchange for an honest to goodness review, which you see here.

The Ice Cream Diet

July 28th, 2010

I have no idea what my problem is. All I know is that I always want ice cream. I mean, I always want to eat, but ice cream “has me at hello.” If you know what I mean.

I’m not even that picky about ice cream. Give it to me straight up or on the rocks, in a waffle cone or in a bowl, covered in hot caramel? Sign me up.

I think it’s something I’m passionate about, I think ice cream should be a part of everyone’s lives. This Friday, I’m hosting a 31 Gifts Party (live in my area and want to come, email me!). I’m having an ice cream bar.

Because THAT MAKES SENSE.

Anyway, this past week was really hard. Nothing went right, I felt like I was constantly fighting with my kids and my husband. My heart felt broken, my spirit; shattered.

And on Saturday, I didn’t have any ice cream. For the first time in weeks.

I laid in bed, after crying into my pillow for a long time that night, thinking about how hard life is sometimes. I realized I had gone ice cream-less all day.

I cried even harder.

{woe is me. I know.}

While tears fell on my pillow, I prayed (begged) to God for grace the following day. I asked Him to give me strength, to be a bigger person, to not always WANT, to GIVE more. I also asked for a way for me to be ME again. To be happy and in love, not just with my kids but also with my husband. I asked Him to help me to be less angry but I also asked that my family GIVE more, too. (it’s only fair.)

I can’t say everything is solved. Because, my goodness, it’s not. But the tears stopped and I’ve felt more happiness than I have in a long time. And not just because of decisions and prayers on my end, but also decisions and prayers from those I live with, it’s a work in progress.

On Monday and Tuesday, I made up for it and had ice cream twice. (I also felt and saw a whole lot of love and smiles, too.)

Last week, Stephanie, Lovelyn, Rhonda and I all met for ice cream at a local parlor. Our kids were so hyper and honestly, driving us crazy. And then Gray fell and lost his ice cream. He was so sad. But he sat down and continued to eat his chocolate waffle cone despite the tears and the sadness. This little four year old taught me a serious lesson.

Some moments are bad, some are good, either way, things are better with ice cream.

ice cream tears

***

This week, I lost 1.6 pounds.

Back to picking outfits for the day when I love the way I look, I’ve decided to go with beachwear this week. This is me.

I like it.

beachy