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Not Perfect

Monday, December 7th, 2009

By Beth

I only have a few minutes before I start the craziness of this day but I just wanted to stop in and let you all know that I am NOT PERFECT.

I’m so far from perfect that it’s hysterical and yet, sometimes, after I write a post to all of you, I think “gosh, I sound so…’on’ all of the time.”

The truth is, I’m not always positive, I’m sometimes grouchy, I always procrastinate, I sleep too much, I eat too much, I don’t eat my veggies, I sometimes go to bed angry, Brian and I do argue, he sometimes IS right (shhhhh….), I don’t hug my kids enough and I’m terrible with money.

Remember on Friday when I was like “hey, this weekend I’m going to show you a handmade project that ANYONE can do?“ Well, guess what? I did it on Saturday and SCREWED IT UP. No lie. So…there’s that, too. (don’t worry, it’s still coming to you, just with better instructions than what I received.)

*phew* I feel better.

Also? I never say “phew.”

The thing is…I KNOW that you guys don’t care. My husband doesn’t care, my kids don’t care, my friends don’t care…so why do I?

I don’t know…but I’m working on it.

s.l.o.w.l.y …

I’ll begin working on it as soon as I finish this bowl of cocoa puffs as I sit on the couch with laundry just SITTING in my dryer.

Then I’m off to my son’s school because he forgot his lunchbox in the car. {he’s not perfect either!}

Categories: Being a Mama, stupid crap, That's Life

Good substitution

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

By Beth

We had big plans last week to have both sets of grandparents over for a feast of food that could only be eaten with our fingers. (fun idea? I think so.) On the menu? Barbecue ribs, roasted red potatoes, cheesy garlic bread, chips and homemade guacamole, fresh veggies and dip and peanut butter cupcakes.

BUT THEN…

we got sick. And we didn’t want to expose the beloved grandparents to this horrid flu, so we decided to make the meal a little bit more simple.

So, we ordered pizza and luckily I made the guacamole (easy recipe below) before the GREAT FLU FEST OF 2009 overtook our cozy home. Although it wasn’t quite the feast we had prepared, it was still delicious (hello? IT’S PIZZA!) and we had fun. We sat in the living room using just paper towels as our plates and we played Uno and Zingo and read (a ton of) books.

It was perfect. In it’s own special, very mucous-y, yet delicious way.

pizza eater

Because I’m all about the sharing, here is this recipe for fresh guacamole…IT IS YUM.

3 very ripe avacados
3 roma tomatoes (gently core inside, then dice)
1 large lime
red onion (use about a 1/4 of a cup, when not pregnant, I love it and I dice it up real nice, when I’m pregnant, OHMYGOD it’s evil and shall not even enter my home)
1 hot pepper (or jalapeno pepper) slice and dice as much as you wish. The more you use, the kickier the guac.
Green onions (finely chopped…again, add as much as you’d like, I typically add 1/2 cup)
2 garlic gloves
1/2 a bunch of cilantro (finally chopped)
salt and pepper to taste

Mix together and dip your chips. Enjoy!

This post was sponsored by Viva Towels. For fun, fork-free recipes – including videos – and snappy entertaining ideas, get over to the VIVA® Diva Café.

Categories: Family, recipes, That's Life

Now

Friday, September 25th, 2009

By Beth

Right now I’m sitting on my couch, I just ate a bowl of Cinnamon Life and I’m drinking coffee. Yes, even though I’m pregnant, I still drink coffee in the mornings.

I have to clean my whole house by 11:00 today because I asked my cleaning lady to come back after having to say goodbye to her in an effort to save money before summer started.

Yes, I clean my house before my cleaning lady comes…it makes sense. Yes it does. She can’t clean my bathtub if it’s full of clothes. Not that mine is full of clothes. *cough*

On my way to dropping the kids off at school today, I plugged in my iPhone to the audio system in the car and played a song that I had in my mind and I really listened to the words and it nearly brought me to my knees with it’s lyrics. It was my life. It is my life. I finished the song and felt refreshed and not alone and Anna said “will you play that song again?”

I wonder if she had the same experience, although, probably, hopefully, not as heavy.

Tomorrow, Brian and I are heading to our favorite little town in Indiana to spend four days with my sister and her husband. This is the eighth year that we have done this trip and it just gets better and better.

No kids. No responsibilities. No cooking. No laundry. Just ice cream. Pizza. Shopping. And for the husbands: beer and golf. We share a condo…it’s literally BLISS.

I’ve been more emotional about things this week than I have been throughout this entire pregnancy. Not that I sit around crying all of the time, although I did while watching flash mobs on You Tube yesterday, it’s just that I’m feeling things more deeply than I have been. It’s possible I’m feeling again because I’ve cut back on my prozac significantly. I always felt that prozac was like a concrete barrier that prevented me from ever going to “that place.” It’s like a great protector…but also, sometimes that place needs to be visited.

I took Noah to the dentist on Wednesday, somehow, the conversation with the hygienist led to losing James and Jake, which is so strange because it’s not something I bring up with people I don’t know, but it couldn’t be prevented. So, I shared. I’m glad I did. She asked me questions, real questions, it was a good moment. To recognize their place in our lives feels good.

It’s interesting to me that two little boys who were so small and who were here for such a small portion of time, can impact us FOREVER and SO DEEPLY.

I am so grateful for them.

I probably won’t be around much until maybe Tuesday or Wednesday, but I’ll try to pop in when I can. My sister, Sarah, is 28 weeks pregnant and she and I are doing a maternity shoot for her, so maybe I’ll come by and show you how wonderfully cute she is.

She is so cute.

I’m off to begin my day…THIS DAY that is so remarkable and beautiful, I’ll be sure to live it because that’s what it’s here for…I’m hoping you do the same.

Categories: Being a Mama, JJF, That's Life

Moving on.

Monday, September 7th, 2009

By Beth

I’m pretty sure this is the longest I have gone without writing. At least in a long, long time. It’s like I forgot I even had a blog. We were gone all day long every single day and then we would get home late, put the kids to bed, watch Brian exercise and be so tired I could barely make it up the stairs.

One night, I even stayed up until 12:24 IN THE MORNING.

I know.

My life, oh this crazy life of ours, will hopefully be returning to normal tomorrow. So much happened this weekend beyond the funeral, (which was perfect, thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers), so much good but also so many bad, negative things that make my heart hurt. Things I can not speak of here because it’s not mine to tell. It’s just not good.

Today felt lighter and brighter, despite the rest of my family heading back to their home all over the United States. I miss my brothers and sisters and their wives and husbands and kids so much. I hate living so far away from them. This afternoon, I took a beautiful nap, I was so tired and slept so hard.

Pregnancy, death, drama, trauma, it’s all so exhausting.

So, tomorrow we return to the mounds and mounds of laundry, school lunches, grocery shopping, homework, school forms that we are endlessly filling out and regular life…I’m ready for it. I am so ready for it.

Categories: That's Life

Used.

Monday, August 24th, 2009

By Beth

Thanks to all of you for sending your love my way last night and today. It made such a difference, as always, I’m always so grateful that you continue to check in on me.

This family of mine is out of sync. I blame it on school starting and both of the kids being gone ALL DAY LONG for the first time ever and now I’d like to take a moment and blame our van because the transmission went out yesterday.

It’s not worth fixing.

Which means one thing: we must buy a new vehicle.

Brian took off of work today and he and I searched all day long while the kids were in school, and then again after they got home. We haven’t purchased anything but we are close. Today was frustrating and mind boggling and completely exhausting. Fortunately, we starting looking about a month ago, so we have a lot of looking and comparing under our belts. Unfortunately, we are sick of looking.

I’m actually feeling quite badly about not giving the kids any downtime today. They got home from school, did their homework and after twenty minutes, we drove ourselves to the south side of Chicago, which was…INTERESTING. One of the cars that we were most excited about was situated in a very strange, very scary location. I may or may not have thought we were going to be mugged TWICE while looking at cars.

It was fun. No really. it was.

We’ve narrowed it down to three vans.

The first had a full cigarette sitting in the back of the car.

The second had a notebook with a child’s writing on it that had “I will not play with fire. I will not play with fire.” written over and over and over again tucked inside the glove compartment.

And the third not only smelled like dirty socks, but happened to have dirty socks underneath the stow and go seats.

Which would you choose?

Stupid used cars.

Categories: Being a Mama, That's Life

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