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Jersey

October 19th, 2008

You know what I like about New Jersey? The fact that it can be called Jersey and it sounds so hip and cool.

Where you headed?

Jersey.

The Jersey Shore.

AWESOME.

Know what I don’t like about New Jersey? You can’t take left turns. It’s true. I know most of you have never been to New Jersey and didn’t even know this little fact about this little state. YOU CAN’T TURN LEFT. It’s very, very strange. If you’re destination is on the left, you actually have to pass it, find a stoplight guided u-turn and drive back to the place you missed. But it’s not my state and I’m not here very much so I guess I won’t judge, right? There’s a Dunkin’ Donuts down the road and that means we are going to be just fine.

We are here for a wedding. Brian’s cousin is getting married today and we are all very excited about this event. I’ll be wearing a dress that I really like and it was only the 79th dress I tried on. My friends at Shabby Apple sent me this dress to wear to the wedding, it arrived and it was so soft and vivid and beautiful. But my belly got in the way for it to fit properly, so I can’t wear it. I was pretty disappointed, especially when I had to go dress shopping which is not fun when you are fat and completely unhappy with how you look.

I’m thinking I need to seriously do Weight Watchers and when I say seriously do Weight Watchers, not only do I mean, you know, actually COUNTING POINTS, but I also need to attend meetings. Every week. Which isn’t a big deal, except I feel silly? like a failure? embarrassed? Since I was a lifetime member for so long and here I am, big and round again. And it’s not like I can stand on the scale and say “YES BUT I WAS PREGNANT WITH TWINS AND I WAS DOING GREAT WITH MY WEIGHT AND THEN I LOST THEM AND THEN I DIDN’T EAT FOR WEEKS BECAUSE FOOD DIDN’T MATTER TO ME AND I LOST TOO MUCH WEIGHT AND THEN I STARTED EATING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER AND I HAVEN’T STOPPED AND NOW I FEEL LIKE A LOSER WHICH MAKES ME EAT MORE, WHICH MAKES ME GAIN WEIGHT, WHICH MAKES ME FEELS WORSE ABOUT MYSELF AND THEN I EAT MORE.”

I just want to go to a meeting and not have anyone ask me any questions. Maybe I could get a shirt that says “yes, I know, but SHUTUP.”

But I won’t, it will be one of those life experiences that I look back on and think “you know, that was so hard but I overcame it and I’m so glad I did because I don’t hate the way I look anymore, I did something about it and I really do love myself.”

When I put it that way it doesn’t sound so bad, afterall.

Postcard – Ohio

October 18th, 2008

Greetings from Ohio. We are staying near Cleveland, in a town called Richfield, I believe. Have you ever heard of it? We have close to five hours of driving out of the way, with about 7-9 more tomorrow before we reach our destination of New Jersey.

We are nicely snuggled into our super wonderful hotel room, the kids are sleeping and Brian and I are sitting with our heads in our laptops, it’s so relaxing. The first leg of our trip went pretty well, although after driving for an hour Racecar kept saying he was too tired and could we please go to the MOtel. We told him he could sleep in the car and he looked at us like we had arms coming out of our heads. Our kids don’t sleep in cars and haven’t in years. Although we miss it, it’s nice to get into our hotel room and have the kids pass out and sleep wonderfully all night long.

But it’s hard to remember that when the kids say Mom 100 times over the course of one hour.

I actually fell asleep in the car after being in the car of less than an hour. The funny thing is that I never, ever sleep in cars, but today I was all worn out! While I was dozing I was dreaming that I was eating, so I’d find myself actually opening my mouth in real life, getting ready to eat. I imagine the truckers got a kick out of that. I know I did. I would silently laugh at myself after doing it and then I’d fall asleep again and do it all over again.

Man, I love food.

And sleep. Good night, friends. I hope you all have a great weekend.

*I wrote this last night, it wouldn’t publish until this morning. Our precious children woke up a little bit too early, but we were saved by The Bee Movie airing on HBO first thing this morning. THANK YOU HBO. I’m going to hit the shower and hit the coffee and then we are going to hit the road.

So, I like California

April 21st, 2008

It’s true, I heart California.

I like the people, I like the food, I enjoy the expensive margaritas, the expensive cosmos, the expensive chocolate, the cheap burgers, the cheap hot dogs, the nice people, the crazy homeless people, the crazy people who are not homeless, the crazy Moms forcing their kids to stay up at downtown Disney at 11:00 P.M., even though the child is crying to go home and go to bed, I enjoy the shopping, I like the people singing on the streets (they seem to have more talent than those in Chicago – I’m just sayin’), I love the landscape.

Oh my God – the landscape. Breathtaking. Beautiful.

What I don’t love is waiting two hours for a damn hot dog.

The line wrapped completely around that second building and went waaaaay back to the back of the building. I still don’t know if it was worth that long of a wait – but it was good. I am glad we did it.

and I don’t love paying $3 for 20 ounces of water.

But that’s okay, I’ll do it anyway.

I appreciate the strange.

I love the diversity.

I can’t wait to come back.

For now, however, I have coffee to drink, donuts to eat and a plane to catch. See you in Indiana. If you don’t recognize me, I’ll be the one who just gained 12 pounds eating chocolate and chili cheese dogs and drinking $12 margaritas. You can’t miss me.

In-n-Out

April 19th, 2008

Today we have spent much of the day traveling around in our rental car. We went to Beverly Hills, Santa Monica and back to L.A. for some In-n-Out.

While at In-n-Out, I decided I needed to get some documentation for the many readers who insisted we go to In-n-Out, so I withdrew my camera from my handbag, took a picture and was then accosted by the 18 year old security guard. Because you can’t take pictures inside In-n-Out. Are you kidding me? THEY’RE JUST BIG RED LETTERS. Who cares?

I acted shocked (which I was), I did not apologize (because I wasn’t sorry – even if I was going to Burger Prison), but I was still nice, (because I’m a softy.) (except for the girl at McDonald’s at O’Hare the other day, she told her co-worker I was ready to fight her. And she was right.)

The 18 year old security guard was actually very nice, we wound up chatting for a bit while our burgers cooked. He yelled at me for not getting a double double burger when I told him I had ordered a single. He then asked where we were from, why we were in L.A. and how many kids we have.

"How many kids to you have?"

That question I use to love to answer with pride and joy "TWOOOOO!" I’d croon enthusiastically. But now I answer with some sadness, "TWO. I have TWO." And quite honestly, even though I ADORE California and will undoubtedly return someday, this whole trip is a little sad, it’s bittersweet, I should say. The fact is, if I had not lost the twins; we wouldn’t be here. I’d be sitting at home, about to start my twenty-seventh week, with swollen ankles, constipation and heartburn and probably a pretty bad attitude. Instead, we are driving around on the 405 in a silver Mercedes with the sun roof open, our music up, soaking in California.

I’m sure you know where I’d rather be right now.

But I’m not, I’m here, in a hotel room in downtown Los Angeles – dreaming of my sweet angel baby boys and missing my sweet children who are safe and sound at Grandma’s.

The security guard, bless his heart, responded to my answer of two children with "Just two? Everybody stops at two. Nobody has more than two anymore."

My heart fell into my stomach, I smiled politely and said "I would love to have more."

Just another reminder that there is always more to people than we know – one should never assume, one should never doubt, one should only be kind.

We did enjoy our lunch at In-n-Out, was it the best burger I’ve ever had? No, this is. (the second best burger was here.) It was good, don’t get me wrong, the milkshake? It rocked my world. Thanks for the recommendation.
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More pictures to come right here. Oh and check out this smokin’ hot Momma who just cut her hair off. I love it when people cut there hair off. She looks amazing. Makes me wonder what the hell I’m waiting for.

Pictures

April 18th, 2008

My California pictures are in my flickr album – feel free to view! The album is pretty empty so far, but I’m sure it will fill up quickly after tonight!

Did you know you can even comment on pictures? It’s the next best thing next to blogging and twitter. And ice cream. And margaritas. And Spanx.

I have had WAY too much coffee today.

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