But now it’s late because I am having serious technical difficulties… and now I have a hungry baby …

Wish me luck – I’m working on it!

So, I’m going to try out another linking hosting site, I just have to sign up and whatnot so bear with me, k?

In the meantime, let’s talk about ice cream.  What’s your favorite kind?  Mine is anything with caramel.  hmmmm…caramel.

We are.  I was pretty confused by this since we don’t watch soccer but then all of a sudden a bunch of hot guys flooded the field and I was all like “when will they air the reruns?”

So, I posted over here about having another child.  Join me for the conversation, won’t you?

And look at how positively stunning he is.  We love him.  A LOT.  (and we think he loves us, too.  A LOT)

ISO 200 | F1.8 | ss 1/120

She has the silkiest blond hair and the most amazing, perfect eyelashes.

When I first met her this past January, she was wearing boots that I loved, I knew that I had to have them.

I sat with her on my couch, I knew her story, I had read it online, but I didn’t know her story.  I knew her baby, but I didn’t know her baby.  And I never really will.

My God she is so beautiful.  And her son? He takes my breath away.

She stayed overnight, she was very organized, very type-A, she and Noah worked on finding baby names for the baby boy that was in my belly.

On the inside?  Her heart was broken.  Her baby, her Joel, had gone to heaven last June.

Even though I’ve had my own loss and my own heartbreak, I don’t know hers, having held his perfect body in her arms with that perfect beating heart and having to say good-bye.  My tears fall as I can’t imagine what that feels like as a Mother.   I can’t fathom the anguish, the despair, the anger, the confusion.

One year ago today, he was born.

Today, I am doing my best to celebrate Joel by holding my own children tight, screaming from the rooftops how much I love them and thanking God for every gift he has given to us.  My heart can hardly handle her heartbreak, I can’t imagine what it must feel like to her.

Please head over to Sara’s blog and leave a comment of support to her.  For every comment she receives she’ll be donating $1 to Friends of Maddie…her birthday gift to him.  So go and love on that Mama.

And then hug your loved ones after that.

{Stephanie’s Noah & Carter, my Noah and Steph’s Gray at our picnic.}

Not my home.  Not me.  None of my relationships.

The five pairs of flip flops in the living RIGHT NOW.

The children who sometimes fight.

The husband who I spend too much time trying to perfect.

Certainly not the yelling that comes out of my mouth.

or the angry thoughts and frustration that resides inside my brain.  (and heart.)

I am not perfect.

but my friends,*

my babies who are not in my arms today, my baby who is in my arms,

my family,

my home and the flip flops that are strewn about the floor, the laundry over-flowing, my bathroom counter, which I can no longer see … the husband who puts up with my bad moods …

they are all perfect for me.

I’m not wanting to be perfect.  I just want to be good.  Not just to others, but also to myself.

I’m working on it, I’ll be working on it, forever.  I’m okay with that.

*photo taken Friday night with Love’s camera by a guy who looked like Kenny Chesney.

I became even more excited when I saw the weather was predicted to be nearly 50 degrees, which in these parts, is like EIGHTY.  I had asked if one of the girls would be willing to take a few belly photos of me, outside, perhaps with something cute on.

I just had no idea.

I had no idea that my long time blogging friend, Megan, who I love so much, would drive two hours and be at the coffee shop.

I didn’t know that Sara would drive down from Detroit (while pregnant WITH twins) and be at the coffee shop.

or that my sister, Amy, would drive from nearly the same location in Michigan, with her daughter and be at the coffee shop.

(photo by Erin)

I most certainly had no idea that my sister, Sarah, would pack up her husband, two kids and a newborn and drive five hours BEHIND MY BACK and be sitting, right there…in the coffee shop.

I was so surprised to see my Mom, right there, smiling so big.

And then to see my soul sister, Natalie, Jen, Nancy, Carrington and Rhonda there, too?

Needless to say?

I was surprised.

The words still fail me.  The fact that my best friends would go to so much trouble to celebrate this baby, the fact that so many people would travel so far, the fact that these people would spend their Saturday afternoon for me, this baby and my family?

That means more to me than anything else.  I just wanted to sit and talk and take it all in.  But there were baby things to be unwrapped and who was I to argue?

And to these five girls? Thank you for everything – the planning, the fact that you got this by me, the decor, the party favors…YOUR FRIENDSHIP.

Yesterday was entirely about love … and it will be etched in my soul for the rest of my life.

(all photos were taken by Crooked Eyebrow, unless otherwise stated.  To see the rest of the photos, go here!)

We have returned from our weekend getaway to my sister’s house in Kentucky.  It was a wonderful, restful and FUN trip.  What was NOT fun was that Kentucky actually received a ton of snow while we were there which is totally unfair because I was sort of running away from the snow by going there.

The drive home was pretty treacherous, our typical four hour drive took six and a half, but we are safe at home and last night I slept like a dream.  The best night’s sleep I have had in weeks.  I am so thankful.  (I am also hoping tonight is just as, or nearly as, good!)

While in Kentucky I felt like we prepared for the baby’s arrival some.  We have newborns clothes and a wonderfully fitting nursing bra.  We may have a baby’s room with beautifully painted walls and nothing else in it but we have clothes!  And a nursing bra!  I think that’s all we need, right?

My sister spoiled me endlessly and wouldn’t let me do anything.  The most I did was order pizza on Sunday night and that was the extent of any work  I did.  She, on the other hand, in between nursing Trey every three hours, was super woman.

She even made these on Valentine’s Day.  (which were to die for.)

The kids helped to decorate them and we learned that Anna is a freakishly good piper.

And an even better cookie eater. (just like her Mom.)

Anyway, we are back home, safe and sound and missing my sister and her family terribly.

In other news:

I’ve written a post over here, I really like it for some reason.  (I don’t often say that about things I’ve written)  So, feel free to read and also, don’t be shy, feel free to comment, k?

Recently, Ruby and Roja decided to close it’s design doors for a million, trillion different reasons.  Because I love designing and I also love to bring in some sort of income, I have started 2 Bird Designs.

I’m excited about this!

And finally, You Capture turns one this week! (how can that be possible?!) So, I’m having a giveaway, everyone who participates will be entered to win Picnik Premium for one year – on me! My way of saying THANK YOU! Just link up on Thursday’s Mr. Linky to be entered.  (this week’s challenge:  KISSES!)

Now it’s time for bed.  Sleep tight, friends.

I’ve been awake for an hour.  Already I’ve had coffee, two belgian waffles, a bowl of fresh strawberries, three delicious, warm hugs, one homemade card and fifty or so kicks and tumbles in my belly.

It’s already the best birthday ever.