So, yes, You Capture is late, but guess what?  It was my fault but now it’s not, now it’s the linking hosting site’s fault, which is basically free, so you know, I CAN’T COMPLAIN.  Except I will anyway because C’MON, MAN!

So, I’m going to try out another linking hosting site, I just have to sign up and whatnot so bear with me, k?

In the meantime, let’s talk about ice cream.  What’s your favorite kind?  Mine is anything with caramel.  hmmmm…caramel.

Are you watching the World Cup soccer game?

We are.  I was pretty confused by this since we don’t watch soccer but then all of a sudden a bunch of hot guys flooded the field and I was all like “when will they air the reruns?”

So, I posted over here about having another child.  Join me for the conversation, won’t you?

And look at how positively stunning he is.  We love him.  A LOT.  (and we think he loves us, too.  A LOT)

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I sort of wish I didn’t know her, if I didn’t it would mean she’d be making cupcakes and wrapping gifts today.

She has the silkiest blond hair and the most amazing, perfect eyelashes.

When I first met her this past January, she was wearing boots that I loved, I knew that I had to have them.

I sat with her on my couch, I knew her story, I had read it online, but I didn’t know her story.  I knew her baby, but I didn’t know her baby.  And I never really will.

My God she is so beautiful.  And her son? He takes my breath away.

She stayed overnight, she was very organized, very type-A, she and Noah worked on finding baby names for the baby boy that was in my belly.

On the inside?  Her heart was broken.  Her baby, her Joel, had gone to heaven last June.

Even though I’ve had my own loss and my own heartbreak, I don’t know hers, having held his perfect body in her arms with that perfect beating heart and having to say good-bye.  My tears fall as I can’t imagine what that feels like as a Mother.   I can’t fathom the anguish, the despair, the anger, the confusion.

One year ago today, he was born.

Today, I am doing my best to celebrate Joel by holding my own children tight, screaming from the rooftops how much I love them and thanking God for every gift he has given to us.  My heart can hardly handle her heartbreak, I can’t imagine what it must feel like to her.

Please head over to Sara’s blog and leave a comment of support to her.  For every comment she receives she’ll be donating $1 to Friends of Maddie…her birthday gift to him.  So go and love on that Mama.

And then hug your loved ones after that.

getting your feet wet despite thinking there are lobsters in the water. Thanks to the encouragement of friends.

{Stephanie’s Noah & Carter, my Noah and Steph’s Gray at our picnic.}

There is nothing perfect in my life.

Not my home.  Not me.  None of my relationships.

The five pairs of flip flops in the living RIGHT NOW.

The children who sometimes fight.

The husband who I spend too much time trying to perfect.

Certainly not the yelling that comes out of my mouth.

or the angry thoughts and frustration that resides inside my brain.  (and heart.)

I am not perfect.

but my friends,*

my babies who are not in my arms today, my baby who is in my arms,

my family,

my home and the flip flops that are strewn about the floor, the laundry over-flowing, my bathroom counter, which I can no longer see … the husband who puts up with my bad moods …

they are all perfect for me.

I’m not wanting to be perfect.  I just want to be good.  Not just to others, but also to myself.

I’m working on it, I’ll be working on it, forever.  I’m okay with that.

*photo taken Friday night with Love’s camera by a guy who looked like Kenny Chesney.