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Downward dog

Tuesday, January 18th, 2011

By Beth

I just took a shower after laying Eli down for a nap.

This is different from my routine, typically I wake up and give the kids breakfast, throw Eli in the exersaucer which has taken permanent residence in my bathroom and I jump in the shower. I get in, do a half ass job at shaving (if I shave at all), wash my hair get out and run around trying to get ready while also getting Anna and Noah ready for school. (wash their faces, fix their hair, test their breath, make sure their morning chores are done…)

We barely make it out the door without me screaming at someone out of pure frustration. I just wish they would plan better. I even say that “Anna, I wish you would plan better!”

Which is funny because LOOK AT HER MOTHER. The grown woman racing around in her around, trying to throw on some mascara, etc, etc.

So, today, I skipped my shower and took it later. This morning was much more pleasant, if I do say so myself.

Since I had a little bit of extra time, however, I was able to uh…look at the current situation of my body which was frightening, to say the least. I suppose it was something that needed to happen sooner or later. The chips ahoy and the double cheeseburgers were landing a little too easily in my hands, normally when I eat like crap I’m totally aware of it and I try to not over do it.

You see, I’m a planner with my greasy food but not so much with anything else. (God, I wish I were kidding.)

Lately, though…food has been extra delicious and totally tempting which was quite obvious by the looks of things today.

I mean, seriously…WOW.

What’s interesting and almost confusing is that lately, I have felt sexier than I have in a long time, so basically, I like me with my clothes on, which is good because well, they’re usually on. (You’re welcome.) And I am down to my pre-pregnancy weight (which wasn’t necessarily great to begin with) but I’m much, let’s see, I’m much “less firm” nowadays.

So, I’m thinking I need to exercise on a more regular basis and by regular basis I mean, exercise for the first time since Eli was born.

Nine months ago.

Here’s my plan and it’s your job to hold me accountable. Which means if I don’t firm up, it’s not my fault. (this is also important because I’ll be in Florida in a few months where it’s not acceptable to wear jeans in a pool, which I will do, if necessary.)

I’m going to start doing yoga. Either at home or in a class.

I’m going to start sharing outfits with you guys on a more regular basis, they inspire me, a lot.

and I’m going to stop eating cookies. COLD TURKEY. See? I mean business.

So, here’s the outfit I put together that inspires me. And those pink flowers? Those are for me, too.

Here’s a picture of Eli and I just few minutes ago…maybe we’ll see some shrinkage in weeks to come.

(this photo makes me look much thinner than I actually am.)

(which is why I posted it.)

Categories: Being a Mama, polyvore, stupid crap, Weight Loss

The Ice Cream Diet

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

By Beth

I have no idea what my problem is. All I know is that I always want ice cream. I mean, I always want to eat, but ice cream “has me at hello.” If you know what I mean.

I’m not even that picky about ice cream. Give it to me straight up or on the rocks, in a waffle cone or in a bowl, covered in hot caramel? Sign me up.

I think it’s something I’m passionate about, I think ice cream should be a part of everyone’s lives. This Friday, I’m hosting a 31 Gifts Party (live in my area and want to come, email me!). I’m having an ice cream bar.

Because THAT MAKES SENSE.

Anyway, this past week was really hard. Nothing went right, I felt like I was constantly fighting with my kids and my husband. My heart felt broken, my spirit; shattered.

And on Saturday, I didn’t have any ice cream. For the first time in weeks.

I laid in bed, after crying into my pillow for a long time that night, thinking about how hard life is sometimes. I realized I had gone ice cream-less all day.

I cried even harder.

{woe is me. I know.}

While tears fell on my pillow, I prayed (begged) to God for grace the following day. I asked Him to give me strength, to be a bigger person, to not always WANT, to GIVE more. I also asked for a way for me to be ME again. To be happy and in love, not just with my kids but also with my husband. I asked Him to help me to be less angry but I also asked that my family GIVE more, too. (it’s only fair.)

I can’t say everything is solved. Because, my goodness, it’s not. But the tears stopped and I’ve felt more happiness than I have in a long time. And not just because of decisions and prayers on my end, but also decisions and prayers from those I live with, it’s a work in progress.

On Monday and Tuesday, I made up for it and had ice cream twice. (I also felt and saw a whole lot of love and smiles, too.)

Last week, Stephanie, Lovelyn, Rhonda and I all met for ice cream at a local parlor. Our kids were so hyper and honestly, driving us crazy. And then Gray fell and lost his ice cream. He was so sad. But he sat down and continued to eat his chocolate waffle cone despite the tears and the sadness. This little four year old taught me a serious lesson.

Some moments are bad, some are good, either way, things are better with ice cream.

ice cream tears

***

This week, I lost 1.6 pounds.

Back to picking outfits for the day when I love the way I look, I’ve decided to go with beachwear this week. This is me.

I like it.

beachy

Categories: Being a Mama, Family, polyvore, That's Life, Weight Loss

Chunky Monkey

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

By Beth

For the first time since starting Weight Watchers in May, I did NOT lose weight. In fact, I gained a pound.

DANGIT.

And then, this morning, Anna was hugging me and asked me if I had a baby in my belly.

DANGIT.

I’m hoping this next week will be a bit better. I have our meals planned out and shopped for which means no quick trips to Taco Bell.

DANGIT.

I have to run out the door for a newborn shoot with Megan’s baby, (she had her baby!) I’m leaving Elijah for the longest I’ve ever left him which is leaving my heart feeling sad and confused.

So, I figured I should post a picture of him. Don’t you think?

Sweet baby

My friend, Keli, made this blanket for Eli. I love it so bad.

Categories: Being a Mama, Daily Baby, Weight Loss

Losing it slowly

Wednesday, July 7th, 2010

By Beth

In case you were unable to figure it out from the title of this post – I lost weight this week which means I have lost weight every week since starting Weight Watchers back in May. This makes me happy because I firmly believe the slower you lose it the more likely it will stay off.

And this weight? It’s coming off sloooowly which is good because I’m nursing, we don’t want it to come off too quickly. (and it also means I can eat Bratwurst and s’mores with Reese’s peanut butter cups and drink beer, too.) (If I wanted to.) (Not that I did that.) (A lot, this past weekend.)

Brian and I celebrated our 15 year dating anniversary yesterday. FIFTEEN. YEARS. A lot has changed since then, mainly my waistline but also the way we celebrate things. Simple things make us happy.

For instance.

Last night we dropped the kids off at Bible school. We fed them dinner beforehand which meant Brian and I still needed to eat. We considered going out to eat to celebrate (with Eli, of course.) but I was wearing sweat capris and a tank top, I did not want to change clothes because it took me an hour to pick out the stunner I had on – which was not appropriate for dining out. I really like Taco Bell, Brian does not. I asked in my cute voice, which was much cuter to Brian fifteen years ago, I’m sure, “can we please get Taco Bell.”

He smiled at me. ”Of course, anything for you on our anniversary.” So, we pulled through the drive-thru, came home, I ate on the couch, he at his desk and it was SO AWESOME.

Before you judge, know this: we eat at the table every night, so this was a wonderful break, A TREAT.

We celebrate 11 years of marriage next month, maybe we’ll live it up and I’ll put real clothes on. And maybe not. Either way is fine with me.

But if we did go out to celebrate, I’d wear something simple, like this. (I lost 1.2 pounds this week, by the way.)

simple

Categories: polyvore, Weight Loss

Not the cute kind of chubby

Wednesday, June 30th, 2010

By Beth

So, I lost one pound this week, which is awesome considering we were visiting my sister. My sister and her husband are on Weight Watchers, too. We made a decision to be good and stay away from our typical spread of donuts and cookies.

Right now I’m typing this post on my iPhone, so no outfit this week. We are on our way to Brookfield Zoo. As I was getting ready this morning, I was really struggling with my clothes. I pretty much despise getting dressed, everything looks dumpy and I rarely feel or look cute. My belly hangs over my pants, my arms are thick and my thighs are wide. I literally switch from frumpy t-shirt to t-shirt settling for the one that makes me feel less like a college softball player. (without the muscle.).

I get so bummed.

We stopped at a gas station for coffee and decide, despite having a good breakfast of one cup of Raisin Bran with skim milk, to buy donut sticks.

As i’m reaching for this “treat,” I’m telling myself “this is the problem, this is what makes you not like the way you look.”

I buy them anyway.

I’m tired of cheating on myself.

I’m tired of feeling sad when I look in the mirror.

Categories: Weight Loss