Women are from Mars, Men are just stupid

Gosh, that comes across so harsh, doesn't it?  And I don't mean men are stupid as in they're dumb.  I just mean, they're stupid that sometimes they just don't think.  At all.  hmmm...still harsh.  Okay, let me try to word this better.  Women are superior?   Yes, yes, now I'm on to something.  Women are rockin'?  Good.  Getting warmer.  I GOT IT!  Men are stupid.  BINGO.

If you've been reading my BLAWG for a long time, you should know that I never bash my husband publicly.  Because he is a great husband.  He empties the dishwasher every night, he gives the kids a bath three times a week, he shows affection for me and his children, he even brings me flowers "for no reason."  BUT, that doesn't mean my entry title isn't true, because, it is.  And when I told him what my entry title was going to be he replied with a chuckle and thought it was funny.  Either he wasn't listening, (SURPRISE SURPRISE) or he's just stupid, in a cute sorta way.

A few things have occurred lately that lead me to believe my blog title is true. 

I'll fill you in.

Last Saturday, as in 9 days ago, I drove his car to do some shopping and I used his coffee mug.  When I got home, I had my arms full of purchases from Kohl's, Target, Panera, a hot coffee and a purchase from a local children's consignment shop.  Oh...I also grabbed the newspaper and the mail.  My hands and arms were full.

I did not bring in the coffee mug.

Last Tuesday, 3 days after wards, before he left for work, he asked where is coffee mug was.  I told him probably in his car.  He acted all indignant and abrupt that I had left his coffee mug in his car.  And I was like, "didn't you drive your car yesterday?  Did ya notice the bright blue coffee mug on the seat beside you?"  No response. 

Which leads me to this morning.  Brian had to work in a suburb north of Chicago, A.K.A. a drive to hell.  I had just made coffee and without even looking in the coffee cabinet he says "Do you know where my coffee mug is?"  uh...unless I took it out of your car, apparently it's still in YOUR car, where it's been since before our last conversation about your coffee mug."  To which he replies "I don't remember having a conversation about my coffee mug last week."  Right.  Play the Memory Card.  After that, play the Confused Card.  And if all else fails, play the Not Enough Sex Card.  Those cards always work out so well for you.  (by the way, he still has no recollection of said conversation and wants me to tell all of you that the mug was ALL THE WAY in the back seat of the 4 door vehicle.  But he does give me full permission to make fun of him for forgetting said conversation.)

The thing about this story is that it's not about the coffee mug or about someone being right or wrong.  It's that I KNOW he knew where the coffee mug was.  His point was to show me that I, too, can be irresponsible and forgetful.  Which is fine, I'll accept that little lesson last Tuesday.  But today?  It's just stupid.  And maybe I was irresponsible or forgetful but let's compare that to the time when he forgot to call all night long because he was so drunk.  And I didn't even know he was going out in the first place.    good times.

Another scenario for you.  Remember our cordless phone fiasco last week at Office Max?  Remember I said the phones didn't work very well?  Well, we returned them.  Brian went into the store while the kids and I waited in the car.  He was going to exchange it for a different phone that we had liked when we were there.  My cell phone rings and not surprisingly, it was Brian calling from inside the store.  He said the other phone was now out of stock, but "here's another brand, with the same features for the same price."  I replied with "Fine.  But does it have speaker phone?"  (the one thing I wanted on our new phones.)  He said yes.  He get back in the car, he hands me the phone box and the receipts.  We start driving and I'm checking out the new phone.  As we are heading onto the interstate I say "this phone does not have speaker phone."  He just assumed it had speaker phone because of the speaker holes on the answering machine, he never actually read or made sure there was speaker phone.

I went to Target the next morning and bought a phone.  With speaker phone.

Now, friends, my point is not to male bash, although, it has been fun while it's lasted.  I have never been the type to stereotype men because I know all men are different.  But lately, my cup runneth over and sometimes, I just need to vent.  But mostly, I need to laugh.  I need to laugh at these moments that occur because these are the moments that make up a marriage. 

This past Friday, I tried to move around our DVD player and VCR and electronic crap, but once I pulled out all of the colorful wires out of the components I had no idea what went where and who was who.  (why are there so many holes??)  So, I left it.

Like this.  And Brian came home from a hard day of computer speak and grunting and walked in and saw the mess and actually laughed and jokingly said "did you have some trouble?"  And he squatted and fixed it in an impressive 37 seconds.  He never got mad or irritated and he never called me stupid.  He just laughed.

I think I'll try that next time.

P.S.  For those that may be wondering, Brian actually reads every entry that has to do with him and our relationship before I hit the publish button.  There are some posts that you will never see.  Unless he goes out, gets drunk and forgets to call again.

Comments

[Tracey]

Okay, first I LOVE LOVE LOVE that he thought it had speaker phone because of the little holes in it. That is classic.

And yes, I totally get this post because like yours, my husband is a really really good husband and father and like yours, sometimes he is just too stupid for words and you have to laugh or else get angry, when really, his good points totally outweigh the few bad ones.

Although, my husband does not get to preview my writing beforehand. You, my friend, get the wife gold star and cookie for that. I refuse to give him editorial privileges on my writing, so he has to cross his fingers and hope he's in my good graces.

[Amy A]

Well I'm glad to see you finally posted! whew. Anyway, it's all oh-so-true. But, like you said, they all have their good points and that's why we let them stay married to us. lol

[Jodi]

You are such an excellent writer! This is a great post. It could have been written about my husband. Classic.

[Jodi]

OK - I used the word "Classic" in my comment just like Tracey. And I hadn't even read her comment yet. Sounds like you definitely hit a cord with this post.

[Thea]

Yeah, silly husband, yadda yadda yadda.

But more importantly...

...dude, I used to have that rug.

[Lori]

The speakerphone thing is so totally my husband. Totally and completely. Thank goodness we love 'em so much, right?

[JanB]

I have been two three stores and finally got good phones at Target. Don't you just love Target? I wanted phones with lots of cordless handsets and I got one with four! It was worth the two hour drive.

[Lynette]

Brian cracks me up. It is great that he can just laugh it off at times. That is a great quality to have. I am impressed that you had him go exchange the phone and get the new one. Brave, brave woman! But now you have learned your lesson, haven't you?!?!?

[Yummy Mommy]

I enjoyed reading this post because I had a fight with my husband tonight (honestly, I am thinking about it now and I can't remember exactly what is was he did, I mean, what it was about) but he is the same as yours, wonderful, sweet, handy with an electronic device, but a big galoot sometimes ("galoot" is one of his favorite words- no idea where he got it or even what it really means, but it sounds right!)Cheers!

[Elisa]

Now see, i don't let my husband read mine. What fun would that be?

[Tracy]

Love this post. David is much like Brian, but there are those times and rrrrr, they just annoy me.

This card was the best...play the Not Enough Sex Card. Yeah, have they figured out that gets them no where. Just less sex!

[Sarah]

This is your best post ever. Actually, it might even be the best blog posting I've ever read. I found myself sitting at my desk with a fork in the air in one hand, and my plastic Smart One's container in the air in my other hand. I unintentionally froze in mid-lunch (which NEVER happens) because I was so involved in what I was reading. LOVED IT, LOVED IT, LOVED IT.

[Liza]

You and Brian are "real example" of "real couples" who I think will make it it this "real world". I loved reading this post!

[J.Fergie]

LMAO.

Your husband and mine are playing from the SAME deck I tell you. All you can do is laugh. Or hope they don't find the body.