Running Scared

It has been such a strange night.  You know those nights that are so totally different from what you usually do, a night that really shakes things up.

At 5:00 tonight I receive an e-mail from my dear friend Lynette about going to the 5K location to set a route for the Family Fun Walk, she wants to know if we can go tonight.  Since we were having difficulty coordinating our schedules, I said yes.  Even though that meant not mowing the lawn or folding the laundry that was sitting on my bed and that it also meant not having to listen to the kids scream and yell all night long.  She twisted my arm. 

I'm all about sacrifices.

Brian came home from work and we ate dinner.  Lynette picked me up and we headed out to the location.  We walked the route, which came to about 1.2 miles. It was a lovely and very cool evening here in Indiana.  Then I asked her if she wanted to go around one more time, cause you know, the exercise is so good for us and so is being away from the screaming and yelling children.

Get this.  She says "only if we run it."  I was like, "okay."  Cause that meant staying away from the loud offspring.  (and I totally knew I was going to run a few steps and either start walking or feign a twisted ankle.)  So we start running it and after about .022 miles I say, I quit, let's walk.  And then she grew horns and she said "DON'T STOP. IT FEELS GOOD.  KEEP RUNNING."  And I agreed to continue because I was scared and she can totally beat me up.

We continued to run.  and run. and run.  I felt a little like Forrest Gump, minus the crew cut and the chocolates and I don't quite remember Forrest breathing quite as heavy as I was, but whatever.  I was DYING Y'ALL.  But Devil Lynette didn't care.  Even as I was dropping the F-bomb, she wouldn't stop running.  She was saying things like "YOU CAN DO IT!" and "YOU ARE DOING SUCH A GOOD JOB" and "DOESN'T IT FEEL GOOD."  (which if feeling like a Ford pick-up is sitting on your chest feels good, than I felt great.)  Then I told her that since I'm running so much we are GOING TO THE STORE AND BUYING QUESO BECAUSE I'M OUT AND I'M GOING TO DIE RIGHT NOW.  She agreed that we could stop and buy queso.

And then 30 seconds later I said I was done.  "I quit, I can't die tonight, not tonight.  Not with all that laundry on my bed."  And she said "IF YOU STOP AGAIN WE ARE NOT BUYING QUESO."

I know what you're thinking.  "I KNOW SHE DI'INT."

She did.  She pulled the nachos card. 

And it worked like a charm.  I never stopped again.  Until the end when I collapsed on the ground after sprinting.

Then I came home and I got into the shower, it was while in the shower that I realized my razor is somewhere, not in the shower, I could not remember where.  For the first time in eight years of marriage I used my husband's razor.  And wouldn't you know my legs are smooth as silk?

What is up with that?  Why does my razor for women suck?  I came out of the shower and asked Brian to feel my legs (which is totally second base when you're married.)  And he was like "VERY NICE!"  I said "I used your razor."

To which he replied: "That's kinda rude."

To which I replied, "well it was either that or not shaving at all. and feel just how lovely my legs feel."  So he did which meant he made it to second twice in one night.  And he agreed I made the right choice by using his razor.

And then I ate my nachos with queso.

Smooth and achy legs n' all. 

Comments

[Jenny from Chicago]

Ha! Great post. I really enjoyed your description of the run. You are a witty, witty woman.

[Lynette]

Okay - I am dyin' here! You made me sound like some kind of crazed insane running freak! Horns?!?! Seriously! It's all good and you really kicked some butt out there. I am extremely impressed at the sprint at the end. You are turning out to be a runner whether you like it or not. I hope you're not too sore tomorrow! Can't wait to do it again on Thursday - 3.1 miles - Yeah baby!

[Angela]

That is totally awesome! I've been stuck with a friend like that before, and even more guiltily, I've been that friend. Little did I know my gal had Asthma...oops. Anyway I can't believe being tired as I'm sure you were that you shaved.

[Veronica]

You are absolutely right. That is second base when you're married.

[Liberty]

You just made me laugh so hard that I cried! Not that you weren't able to run...that was a sympathy cry...but at second base and your husband's reaction to you using his razor...oh and the nacho card! I am still laughing...I can't even form sentences!

[Lori - Queen of Dirty Laundry]

You rock, dude! You ran 1.2 miles! That should hold you for a month, right?

[Jenn]

Oh, I am cracking up at Brian's response about his razor and second base.

So, you up for TNT - San Diego in 2009? I've been considering doing it, but have no one to join me.

[Beth@sportsmomma]

You go girl!!! That is awesome!

And lordy yes- touching your legs is second base when your married- heck after 17 years here it's thrid base! LOL

[Ruth :)]

Thank you for making everyday life fun! :) Your honesty in your everyday life reminds me of the simple fun our days encounter - whether it was funny at the time or not .... in the end, it's a memory and a simple fact that life is what you make it :)

[Jean]

I've always thought that my husbands razor shaves way better than mine. I think it's the whole quad blade thing.
Good you for sticking with the run. I would have collapsed at the .2 mile mark.

[Misty Dawn]

Awesome post! You had me laughing out loud! And the razor thing - YES, WHY do women's razors suck compared to men's???

[Rhen]

You crack me up! I have to agree with you on the razor thing. My hubby gave up years ago complaining about it. He likes the results so it is worth it. LOL

[mandy]

LOL!!!!!!!

[MamaBearJune]

OH, very funny on the run! I hate running, so I can totally relate. But I would have stopped and then gone and got queso after she took me home.

I was loving my Venus Divine razor until I got a bad blade. My legs still aren't fully recovered and it's been WEEKS! I didn't want to shave again and shave off all of the scabs, so I figured I would try Veet. CRAP! Biggest mistake of my life. It ate away all the scabs, bled like crazy and my legs burned all night long. So don't ever be tempted to use that stuff. It's the epitome of EVIL!

[Thea]

LMAO! In my head, her voice took on a whole demonic quality. Too funny!

And you are so right about 2nd base...

[Dana]

I am so proud of you!!! I loved the comment about a car on your chest. ha ha. You crack me up as usual!

[Mel]

WOW...I'm impressed...I couldn't have done, not even for the nachos. Go you for being able to take a shower and SHAVE. No way...I would have hit the bed with hairy legs and all.
Mel

[Michelle]

Holy Cow! You ran a whole mile? Kudos to you, seriously, I can walk to Chicago and back, but running kicks my ass. Like about 45 seconds and I'm D-U-N. You're awesome!

[milk&honey]

Congratulations on the mile! How satisfying is that!?!! I've just worked myself up to 3 miles a day. Whoopee! (I can confirm that the f-bombs do help near the end. It's like verbal fuel!)

[Sara]

OMG! I am so proud of you for running! I can't do anything like that. I'm too lazy. Hope your nachos were good! And if it took you 8 years to borrow his razor you aren't rude, you're a saint! Gave up shaving years ago, and I've only been married for 4!!

[J. Fergie]

ah yes, the nacho card. she's a sneaky one that Lynette.

and i love brian's comment :)

[New Diva on the Blog]

O.K. the running part was funny, but the part I found most insightful was the part about the razor. Why is it that all razors for women categorically suck and the razors for men rock? Hmmmmmm it is a puzzle we may never have an answer to, so in the meantime keep stealing his!

[Liza's Eyeview]

Any body aches this morning? Ahhhh but it's so worth it. I too need to start running.

[Jason A.K.A."Devil With Horns husband"]

Don't let my wife, Lynette, fool you - it's easy to run when she's been -10% bodyfat and working out like an "olympic athlete" for 2 years.

I am proud of what everyone has accomplished for the cause and I support the effort and sacrifice everyone has made to care for others. You have a wonderful husband and dedicated friends who truly understand the greater cause.

Keep up the good work!

Jason Murphy

[Dana]

Horns and nachos. That would have kept me running. I get in plenty of sprints with a two year old, but it has been a LONG time since I tried anything further than from the front door to the sidewalk.