I Should Be Folding Laundry

It's about the denim. Again.

From Friday night until this morning I have slept a total of twenty seven hours, which is almost as exciting as being stuck in a room filled with endless Coldstone Creamery and pizza.  oh and Brad Pitt.

I said almost. 

Either way, this sleeping thing is a pretty good gig.  I had forgotten how wonderful it was to lay down in bed and just fall asleep with no effort, or to wake up in the middle of the night to pee and lay back down and then fall asleep with ease, or to not even wake up at all to pee, which is what happened last night.  The last time that happened was when I was about six weeks pregnant way back in November. 

The new sleeping medicine has been fairly good to me, however, I'm still shaky and groggy through most of the day, including right now, I have an appointment with my g.p. today, we'll see what medication he changes.

Since I have been finally sleeping, I have been in a better mood, which just delights Brian, and quite frankly, delights me, too.

This past Saturday night we did some shopping with our kids at The Big Mall.  I decided to try on some jeans at The Gap to see if purchasing a more expensive pair could potentially be worth the added cost.  Certainly spending thirty dollars more on a pair of jeans would mean a better fit, right?  I was really hoping to solve my denim dilemma, or at least throw in a second pair of jeans that I could hold off washing for weeks and weeks.  And weeks.

Into the dressing room I went with a pair of size 10 Long and Leans and a size 12 Long and Leans.  I tried on the size tens and I don't think I could even button them.  I put on the size twelves and they fit me really well, just a tiny bit of my muffin poured over the top of the jeans, but I knew the jeans would stretch out a bit, as we discussed last week.  The jeans were particularly nice because they were mid-rise, as opposed to low-rise, which we all know that low-rise jeans were invented by the devil.

or a man.

I bought the jeans.  I wore them yesterday and within four hours, they were literally sliding off of my body.  LITERALLY, like, if I didn't pull them up, the public would be exposed to my flabby, deflated belly. 

Sometimes I am so hot, I can hardly take it.

Now I'm stuck with these jeans which cost over SIXTY DOLLARS and I don't know what to do.  I can't even hide the jeans from Brian because he had to pay for them since I left my purse at home.  He heard the total and looked at me and I was all like "Look! a bird! over there!"  And I ran and hid behind one of the scrawny Gap mannequins, which did not do a good job of hiding me at all, because, you know, they're scrawny, and well, I am not.

So, I just batted my eyelashes at him, which only reminded him that he just had to pay for my Clinique mascara. 

Am I stuck with these jeans, or not?  I want to return them, but it's not like I could fit into the size tens, but would I have been able to if I wore them for a few hours?  Would they stretch that much?  Would The Gap even exchange them after I wore them?  They look ridiculous, I have to wear a belt, A BELT!.   I have to pull the belt so tight that the denim is bunching in front of me below the waist and in back of me, above my bottom.  Again, the hotness, I don't know how you can even stand all of the hotness that happens on this blog.

Just tell me, what would you do in this situation...please.

Random things about me

In an effort to "repay" you for the many, many random thoughts and pieces of information you have all left for me on this post, I thought I would do the same for you.

So, I write this post, a post listing random things about me, as a distraction, a reminder of other things that are going on in my life, other things that have happened in my life.  Thank you to all of you who have left comments here, I do hope you continue.  If you haven't left one, please do, I'd love to hear from you. 

Here you go:

-Last night I had a dream about two girls that used to live in our neighborhood growing up.  They did not have any siblings, I could never understand what that must be like, not having any brothers or sisters.  But now I wonder if it was decision their parents made or if they could not have other children.  When I was younger I was oblivious to the fact that people could not have children.  I think I dreamed of the two girls because one of them sent me a card when she learned of James and Jake.  I hadn't heard from her since high school.  If you ever learn that an old friend of yours has lost a loved one, send them a card, no matter how long it's been, your thoughtfulness will mean the world to the person.  I guarantee it.

-When I was a senior in high school, I was the editor of my school newspaper.

-Last May a tornado hit our area.  I was home alone with the kids, they were napping and it was all I could to run into their rooms and grab them out their beds and run down to the basement.  They were scared, I was scared.  I remember shaking for hours.  Thankfully, we were safe.  Now, anytime there is a storm, I completely prepare for the worst, I have shoes ready, my cell phone ready and water ready.

-I love summer.  Hot, beautiful, sunny, green, glorious summer. 

-I don't think I'm supposed to live in the Midwest.  I dream of moving to a place that is warm year round.

-I often find myself watching Will & Grace and Friends reruns on my TV in my bedroom before bed.  I love it.

-This is my 701st post.

-I love taking pictures.  If I could choose a profession right now, I would choose to be a photographer.  One of my favorite non-people pictures that I have taken is this one:

and I love the textures in this picture:

-Brian and I used to play hours and hours of Unreal Tournament on our computers before having children.  We'd spend hours into the night shooting and sniping and killing each other.  It was awesome.   We invited many people to play with us, almost all of them became addicted, too.  I played last year, after that I had a nightmare about death.  I haven't played since.

-In August of 2001, Brian told me he was ready to have children, we were at a Cubs game.  I never knew if I was ready or not, I just left it in his hands knowing that when he was ready, I would be ready.  We started trying the following month and I got pregnant in May of 2002.

-I got pregnant again in May of 2003.  Ariel and Racecar are 360 days apart, I love that.  So much.

-Brian and I honeymooned in Barbados.  It took us all day to get there, when we finally arrived I cried because I missed my family.  I've been romantic ever since.

-My highest weight was 220 or 226, I can't remember.  I now weigh five pounds more than I did when I got pregnant with the twins.  My weight today is 169. 

-I usually love food, but right now I don't care about it.

-I believe the reason I started blogging was so I could journal about dealing with the loss of James and Jake, I started blogging in January of 2006 to keep in touch with my friends who lived across the country.  One of my favorite comments was by a reader named Josh, who agrees with my belief, this is what he wrote:  You know, the inspiration to create this blog to share your happy, fun times, when sadness wasn't present, was a miracle from God. God is truly wonderful. He provides the healing before the sickness even strikes. This cathartic potential has been present all along, and it's only now sadly reaching its true creation's purpose. It's so very true.

Some of the comments left here are the most beautiful things I have ever read.

-I have many friends who do not know about my blog. 

-These are some of my favorite blog posts that I have written:

Running Scared
Some Pig
Women are from Mars, Men are just stupid
12 Years Ago Today

-The kids and I slept until 9 am this morning, we were in our pajamas until noon, I showered and finally finished getting ready at 2 pm, just to stay at home and do nothing.  I love spring break.

-I do not think I am a good writer, I think I am a good blogger. 

-I hate oranges.  But I enjoy orange juice.  When I was pregnant with the twins, I would drinks tons and tons of orange juice, now when I see it or drink it, it reminds me of them.  That does not necessarily make me sad, I enjoy the few memories I have with them.

-I love coffee.  Since losing the twins I have been drinking a lot of coffee, my day is sometimes better when I have a McDonald's coffee in my hand.

-I played softball for many years, I was a catcher.

I could go on and on and on, but I will stop now, somethings have to remain a mystery.

As always, thank you for listening.  If you haven't already, tell me something about you, okay?

14,775

I had an OB appointment today.  If it seems I see my OB weekly, it's because I do.  BUT, after today I wait a whole two weeks before going back.  Luckily, each visit has been fun.  There is nothing better than hearing these boys in my belly.

My doctor received the results from my holter monitor that I wore last week.  I should stop and tell you that my heart palpitations miraculously stopped last Friday.  Ever since then I have felt pretty normal.  The monitor recorded my heart rate for 24 hours and found that my heart had an irregular rhythm 14,775 times.  That's a lot.  And although I do feel better, I go in for an echo cardiogram next week, just to make sure my heart is handling this increased blood volume okay.

Today I am 17 weeks, 4 days pregnant and I am measuring 21 weeks.

Tonight, the kids, Brian and I are going out to dinner to "celebrate" Valentine's Day.  We also "celebrated" this past Saturday by taking the kids to see a movie for the first time ever.  We saw Alvin and the Chipmunks and they loved every single second of our time there.  It was worth the $40 we spent for the 90 minutes we were there.  At least, I think it was.  We would go to dinner tomorrow night but Brian is doing the most romantic thing tomorrow.  He is leaving for a business trip to San Francisco and leaving me alone, pregnant with twins, with the kids and a house on the market until Monday.  Just call him Casanova.

No, I'm not bitter.  Not bitter at all.

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time, there lived two bookshelves tucked inside two preschooler's closets that were FILLED NEATLY with books.

And then one dark day, the bookshelves were empty.

And there were piles of books all over the house.

The piles looked like this:

The "maid" of the house, her name is "Mommy", was deeply disturbed by the piles of books all over her home because she had just tucked them NEATLY on their bookshelves five days before.

So, to make herself feel better she bought these:

And the husband of the house, we'll call him "Awesome", served Mommy a Devils Food Ice Cream Donut on top of a massive dainty pile of soft chocolate ice cream. And pretty soon she forgot about the piles of books everywhere and they lived happily ever after.

The End.

Gigawho? Megawhat?

Brian and I started dating a few weeks after we graduated from high school in 1995.  A few months into our summer romance, our four year, long distance relationship began.  It was painful and sad, but thanks to the telephone and writing letters, we could keep in touch.  Except, for us to talk on the phone it cost us a bajillion dollars every single month, so we tried to write each other letters, as in letters sent via the United States Postal Service every other day.  It worked out really well, especially since the days of communicating through chat room, e-mail or cell phone seemed light years away.

I can remember when Brian presented to me, at some point in the mid to late nineties, the idea of e-mail.  He seemed excited and knowledgeable about the whole concept and I should have trusted him, especially since he was working towards a Computer Science degree, but I couldn't help but feel suspect.  I thought he was trying to find a way to get out of sending these letters, but I reluctantly accepted his offer for him to create an e-mail address from some foreign service called Hotmail.  And we would send e-mails to each other.

And then we would receive them three days later.  I would sit down and check my e-mail and FINALLY, after checking for three days, over 100 times, there would be something in my inbox.  And it would say something like "did you get this?  isn't it great?"  And that would be it.

That form of communication frustrated me and I needed to correspond with this love of mine as often as possible, so I asked that we still correspond by actually sitting down and writing letters.  And he complied because he's wonderful like that.

And as you know, technology improved.  I remember the first time I felt like I was being stalked by technology.  We were newlyweds living in a high rise apartment in Chicago and I had run to Target.  Target to me was a brand new thing and I adored it and I remember on this particular occasion I had spent like $70.  I was freaking out that I had spent so much.  These days, if I spent only $70, Brian would send me a thank you card.  But back then, to me, I felt like I had just done something very, very wrong.

I walked into the apartment with my goods in my hands and Brian said "wow, I can't believe you spent SEVENTY DOLLARS at Target." 

I froze and thought, "OH MY GOD, Target called him."

But no, he had checked his account on-line and in the ten minutes it had taken me to get home, his account was already telling on me.

It took me a long to to forgive his computer for ratting me out.  In fact, it took me a long to embrace technology.  Brian still laughs at me that when he first had a laptop and provided us with wireless access, I was all like "that's just dumb, who needs to sit with a computer on their lap on the couch?  No, thank you!"

But he insisted and put it on my lap and it hasn't left since.

Yes, things sure have changed, just yesterday I placed an enormous order with Amazon.com to help my Christmas shopping along and yesterday I received FIVE e-mails saying my items had shipped.

I appreciate these changes and advancements in technology, but what I appreciate most is having a box full of letters from Brian, sitting in a box in the basement that will last forever and ever. 

I'm truly grateful that I'm not ten years younger.

Thirty-One

Tomorrow, Brian turns thirty-one.

And thankfully, this year will be the easiest birthday so far.  No begging him to tell me what he wants, I won't be needing to dash into Best Buy or Circuit City or even Barnes and Noble.

It's all been taken care of it.  All I need to do is buy a cake from Coldstone Creamery and make dinner.

Because he bought his own gift in October.

A 56 inch gift.  It's my most favorite birthday of his so far.  Maybe next year he'll buy a finished basement.

Weekend Divinity

This past weekend was so enjoyable.  It started out right with a date with Brian.  We had dinner and I only ate HALF of my entree.  Which is supposedly a good thing.  We then got some Christmas shopping done.

The downfall of the night was going to the mall on a Friday night that was filled with thousands of rude people, really rude and they were mostly teenagers who had nothing better to do on a Friday night that loiter and get in my way and drop doors in my face.  Yeah, you, I'm talking to you, rude girl.  jerk.

Then we went to Toys R Us, which is always an interesting experience, so we expected the worst and left pleasantly surprised.  Well, not really pleasant at all, just a little surprised.

Then Saturday I had a hair appointment where I got my hair cut and colored, and well, that's just fun sometimes, isn't it?  Cause you know, no kids.  Despite their attempts to go with me.

Then I came home and took a snooze, just to wake up and go to dinner, yet again.

But this time I went with Crooked Eyebrow and Milk and Honey, names I use even when talking to Brian about them.  And it was divine.  Sorta like going away on a secluded vacation for four solid hours.  Yes, that good.  We talked.  And talked.  And talked.

And talked.

Without interruptions.  Well, I guess we were interrupted by our waitress bringing drinks and dessert, which just adds to the awesomeness of it all.

Then yesterday morning we went to church and headed out on our a Christmas Tree Hunt.  And we found THE tree at the first store.  At a great price.  So great of a price that we bought a HUGE blow up snowman and four foot Christmas trees and SO MUCH MORE!  (thanks, Home Depot!)

All items will remain safely in their boxes for at least another two weeks.  thankyouverymuch.

Then to top it off, Brian folded AND put away an entire load of kids clothes.  Without me asking him.

Which sorta felt like Christmas.  I almost put up my Christmas tree.

See?  And to think...next weekend should be even better!  You know, because of the turkey.

I can't type fast enough

My computer is being a real jerk lately.

I mean, I'm real happy that when my hard drive completely failed (as opposed to failed just a little bit?), I did not lose a thing.  That was all thanks to my faithful computer administrator.  He's a good one, the best in the biz.  And he's a great husband, too.

But lately, as in the past way too freakin' long, my laptop is not sensing the power cord.  Which is a problem.  Because my computer dies.  Without the power cord.  Dies. No power.

Dead.

I will be sitting still as a statue with my laptop on my lap and suddenly the symbol which indicates whether or not I am using battery power will pop up on my screen.  Even though the cord is supposedly doing it's job.  Which is not a difficult job, by any means, it just has to sit there feeding electricity into my laptop.  I mean, COME ON!

So, FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY and way too freakin' long after the problem began, Brian contacted Dell on Sunday, which is just a swell day to contact Dell, should you feel like sitting on hold for a very long time.  They said they could either send someone to our house, per our warranty, or send the part.  Since I have a faithful computer administrator right here in this here home, Brian opted to have the new part, a motherboard, delivered to our home. 
Which is not here, yet.  And by the way, I find it to be not surprising at all that the piece of hardware that controls EVERY aspect of EVERY computer is called a MOTHERboard. 

Of course it is.

I know we just called on Sunday and today is only Tuesday and yesterday was a holiday, but I do not have any patience whatsoever when it comes to technical problems with my laptop.  Just ask my computer administrator.  Actually, he'll tell you I don't have patience for anything, so don't ask him.  He's just a troublemaker.

Anyway, I can either type this blog with one hand while holding my power cord in just the right way, my left arm stretched around the computer, or I better get off of this thing and watch something on TV.

I think I'll lean towards watching TV.

Don't worry.  I'll eat some ice cream, too.

Why women?

Don't we have enough on our plates?

Cleaning the house.  Bathing the kids.  Work.  Deadlines.  Bills.  Buying the groceries.  The nutritional content of everything that goes into your children's mouths.  And yours.  And maybe your husbands.  Doctor's appointments.  Dentist appointments.  Cooking dinner (or at least having it delivered at a decent hour.)  Sex.  School clothes.  Homework.  Haircuts.  Holidays.

Laundry.

and so much more.

All of this and we are supposed to teach our children to be polite, loving and respectful individuals.

All of this on our plate.

And I can accept that.  Happily.  I love the role of being a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter.

But I hate my period.  Do you hate yours?  It just so happens that Aunt Flo and her associates are visiting me RIGHT NOW and I can't help but feel anger about the fact that we woman do so much as it is, do we really have to have cramps that feel like they are going to rip your uterus apart?  Or the aching lower back pain that makes it even more uncomfortable to sit and fold laundry?

The increased fatigued?  The water weight?

The moodiness.

I mean, seriously, can't we work something out that our husbands can take on our periods for say, 3 months of the year?

Can you imagine the drama?  The heating pads? The complaining if men were to have a period?

I think I now know why women.

and it sucks.

Running Scared

It has been such a strange night.  You know those nights that are so totally different from what you usually do, a night that really shakes things up.

At 5:00 tonight I receive an e-mail from my dear friend Lynette about going to the 5K location to set a route for the Family Fun Walk, she wants to know if we can go tonight.  Since we were having difficulty coordinating our schedules, I said yes.  Even though that meant not mowing the lawn or folding the laundry that was sitting on my bed and that it also meant not having to listen to the kids scream and yell all night long.  She twisted my arm. 

I'm all about sacrifices.

Brian came home from work and we ate dinner.  Lynette picked me up and we headed out to the location.  We walked the route, which came to about 1.2 miles. It was a lovely and very cool evening here in Indiana.  Then I asked her if she wanted to go around one more time, cause you know, the exercise is so good for us and so is being away from the screaming and yelling children.

Get this.  She says "only if we run it."  I was like, "okay."  Cause that meant staying away from the loud offspring.  (and I totally knew I was going to run a few steps and either start walking or feign a twisted ankle.)  So we start running it and after about .022 miles I say, I quit, let's walk.  And then she grew horns and she said "DON'T STOP. IT FEELS GOOD.  KEEP RUNNING."  And I agreed to continue because I was scared and she can totally beat me up.

We continued to run.  and run. and run.  I felt a little like Forrest Gump, minus the crew cut and the chocolates and I don't quite remember Forrest breathing quite as heavy as I was, but whatever.  I was DYING Y'ALL.  But Devil Lynette didn't care.  Even as I was dropping the F-bomb, she wouldn't stop running.  She was saying things like "YOU CAN DO IT!" and "YOU ARE DOING SUCH A GOOD JOB" and "DOESN'T IT FEEL GOOD."  (which if feeling like a Ford pick-up is sitting on your chest feels good, than I felt great.)  Then I told her that since I'm running so much we are GOING TO THE STORE AND BUYING QUESO BECAUSE I'M OUT AND I'M GOING TO DIE RIGHT NOW.  She agreed that we could stop and buy queso.

And then 30 seconds later I said I was done.  "I quit, I can't die tonight, not tonight.  Not with all that laundry on my bed."  And she said "IF YOU STOP AGAIN WE ARE NOT BUYING QUESO."

I know what you're thinking.  "I KNOW SHE DI'INT."

She did.  She pulled the nachos card. 

And it worked like a charm.  I never stopped again.  Until the end when I collapsed on the ground after sprinting.

Then I came home and I got into the shower, it was while in the shower that I realized my razor is somewhere, not in the shower, I could not remember where.  For the first time in eight years of marriage I used my husband's razor.  And wouldn't you know my legs are smooth as silk?

What is up with that?  Why does my razor for women suck?  I came out of the shower and asked Brian to feel my legs (which is totally second base when you're married.)  And he was like "VERY NICE!"  I said "I used your razor."

To which he replied: "That's kinda rude."

To which I replied, "well it was either that or not shaving at all. and feel just how lovely my legs feel."  So he did which meant he made it to second twice in one night.  And he agreed I made the right choice by using his razor.

And then I ate my nachos with queso.

Smooth and achy legs n' all.