What? Why are you looking at me like that? Is it my hair? Do I have queso on my chin? ooooh, that.
So, maybe Adam and I haven’t done such a great job of watching American Idol this season. Maybe we’ve watched a combined 14 minutes so far. Who cares?! We are here to prove to America that we don’t need to fall for Idol and all it’s tricks to make us watch hours and hours and hours and hours and hours to know what’s going on. (America=one reader, just so we are clear.) So, with that, let’s join forces with Randy, Steven and J-Lo and get this party started.
Adam: Spoiler alert, sister: we are pretty fashionably late to this party, and Steven and J-Lo already left. The good news is they’ve been replaced by new people. The bad news is, those people are Nikki Minaj, Keith Urban, and Mariah Carey . . . a veritable yawn sandwich on cuckoo bread. And Randy Jackson, because yo dawg, yo, right?
I think we’re all caught up. Can we vote off Colton again?
Apparently, what we’ve missed so far this season is a lot of drama, tears and Keith Urban with an Australian accent. I’m so confused. Isn’t he from Tennessee? (it took me 42 seconds to spell Tennessee, FYI.)
Okay, WAIT. Skinny jeans? On Randy Jackson?? I can barely wear skinny jeans and I wear a size
2, 4, 6, SHUT-UP. Anyway, Randy’s stylists need to be fired. Remember last year when he wore a new pin at every show. That was so much better than seeing him in skinny jeans. OMG.
The contestants were just introduced and even though Lazaro is the only guy remaining, he’s decided to dress as a large accent rug. Fashion sure has changed since 2012.
Adam: It’s Halloween, and Randy is dressed as a Pokemon ball. It’s totally cool. I can’t even talk about Lazaro’s couch impression other than to say it’s dead. on. How many hours go by before they sing?
Adam: Lazaro is not a good singer. And, I’m sorry, I’m not inspired by his story. Or his wounded looks. Or his, “Hey, I’m gonna stay upbeat through all of this” smile. But his bow tie? Yes. Vote for the bow tie. I’mma be on my phone, Beth.