It’s just Eli, Clara and I. The sun is shining, it’s unseasonably warm, about 45 degrees. So far this winter, we haven’t had any significant snowfall and it’s hasn’t been very cold. I am completely okay with this. I swear, every year I despise winter more and more.
Once again, Brian and I discussed moving somewhere warmer someday. I wonder if this will ever happen. I hope it does. I think our life could use that kind of adventure (and fresh air all year long.)
*****
I wrote the first two paragraphs over six hours ago. That’s a little bit how my days are. I start a project and it’s hours before I can actually complete it, if I can complete it at all.
Clara. During some portions of the day, she smiles at the sound of my voice. She’ll be lying on the bed and I’ll watch her from a few feet away. I’ll say what I always say to her in the voice I always use “who’s this sweet girl? Who is this sweet baby girl.” And I’ll see her smile from ear to ear, even though she doesn’t see my face. Sometimes during diaper changes she can hardly contain her excitement. She’ll kick and throw her arms, her smile makes my heart melt. It’s magnificent.
But then.
(I promise you, she started crying as soon as I wrote that. heh. It’s like she wanted to add dramatic effects to this story.)
Anyway. Most of the day she just cries. Her body is stiff and her legs kick and she fusses and screams and cries for what seems like hours and hours.
But it’s getting better. It is. And even though some days are more difficult than others (today has taken the cake!), I know that soon Eli will be outside playing with the next door neighbor after school and Clara will be playing Barbies and the girl’s house in back of us. Just like Anna and Noah are at this very moment.
She’s already growing up so quickly. She’s already three months old.
